Decisions Made
by paperplane1
Summary: Angela faces the consequences of her decisions. Angela/Jordan
1. Chapter 1

Angela stared blankly into her closet.

"What are you supposed to wear to a corporate dinner? I haven't even been at the company a year and they're inviting me to corporate dinners? Jeez,"

She picked out a knee length black dress – smart and simple. She wasn't in the mood for drawing attention to herself.

"What do you think?" Sharon appeared in the doorway sporting an eye catching mauve number. Angela hadn't actually invited Sharon to be her plus-one, she had just assumed.

"Isn't it a bit short?" asked Angela, trying not to sound too much like her mother. She may live with Sharon, she may cook for Sharon, she may do most of Sharon's laundry but dictating her choice of clothing was taking it a bit far. "I mean I don't know most of these people, they might be like perverted or something."

"Angela, it's a corporate dinner … for corporate people."

"Your point being?" Angela took the black dress off its hanger and laid it on her bed. Sharon sighed at the sight of its sensible hemline and high neck. Angela looked up at her. "What?"

Sharon raised her eyebrows and returned to her own room.

In the comfort of her bathroom Angela appraised her reflection in the mirror. She saw every one of her 22 years gazing back, complete with all of the decisions she had made – good and bad. But the one that stood out to her more than all of the rest was the one she was most ashamed to remember. She turned on the tap and splashed water on her face as if it would erase everything that been revealed. But when she looked back in the mirror nothing had changed.

There was a loud knock on the door. "Angela? It's nearly six-thirty."

Angela opened the bathroom door and Sharon gasped, "You haven't even done your make-up yet. Or your hair,"

"I don't know if I should go. I don't even know why they invited me, it was probably a joke."

"Angela. Do you know how long it has been since I have had a night out at a place that was actually half decent?" Sharon pleaded. It was true, her boyfriend Sean was a major disappointment when it came to spending money. Sharon had become an expert on the best of the worst of New York's pizzerias. Angela looked at her poured into that dress, with her hair perfectly tousled and her make up flawless. The dinner was being held at a smart hotel and Angela couldn't bring herself to see Sharon's effort go to waste again.

"Can you help me with my face?" Angela managed a smile. "Like, get me a new one?"

Sharon grinned. She led Angela through to her room and sat her down at the dressing table.

An astonishing crystal chandelier hung in the lobby of the hotel and neither woman could help but stare up at it in wonder as they entered. Hotel staff, dressed in burgundy uniforms, crossed the lobby carrying expensive looking luggage and one, Sharon noticed, carrying a dog in a designer bag. Angela watched a couple standing at the reception. She noted how they held hands and shared a kiss as the receptionist turned to retrieve their key. She wondered about their relationship; how long they had been together and how much hurt they had caused each other.

At the far end of the lobby the two women found a sign directing guests to the Park Lounge where the dinner was to be held. It was the largest function room in the hotel, filled with round tables seating eight guests each.

Angela had joined the company, an international finance conglomerate, straight from university. She started at the bottom but had progressed some way in the year she had spent there. But she had made little headway in fitting in with the social aspect of her workplace. She struggled to find anything in common with her colleagues on the fifth floor of the New York office and whilst they toured the trendy wine bars of Manhattan on a Friday night, she returned home alone, usually to find Sharon out for dinner with Sean.

Angela was single. She had been for a year. She had a few boyfriends at university but she inevitably grew to resent them. They were too kind, too clingy, too well mannered, too straight forward. In the end she grew tired of the guilt she felt ending the relationships for no apparent reason and the knot that formed in her stomach every time she bumped into one of them on the campus.

"Oh my God Angela look at it. Exactly how well has your company done this year?" Sharon took in the scene. Waiters, dressed in white, served glasses of champagne from silver trays to groups of guests dotted around the room.

Sharon and Angela seated themselves at one of the tables. Three women were already sitting there who Angela knew. They smiled at her but didn't say hello. Sharon glanced at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Angela," She turned at the sound of her name.

"Oh hey," Angela smiled at the man standing before them. Will ran her department and was generally the only person prepared to engage in an actual conversation. She had to admit, he looked good tonight.

"I'm glad you came," he smiled and Angela panicked inside.

"This my friend Sharon," Sharon grinned but to Angela's annoyance then stood up and excused herself.

"I wasn't sure it would be your kind of thing," Will took the seat vacated by Sharon.

"It's not," Angela gave him a sincere smile.

Will leaned toward her and lowered his voice to a whisper, "that's why I made sure you got an invite,"

To Angela's relief Sharon had reappeared with two glasses of champagne. Will looked up and she grinned at him. He returned the smile and stood.

"See you later,"

Sharon handed Angela one of the glasses and sat down. She sipped the champagne but Angela couldn't bare the lack of comment.

"We work together Sharon. He's like the only person in New York who actually treats me like a person,"

"Did I say a word?,"

Angela and Sharon left Three Rivers to study at Colombia. During their final years at Liberty High Angela and Rayanne went their separate ways. She had forgiven Rayanne for what happened with Jordan but they drifted apart and by the time they graduated were barely speaking. It's not something that Angela could explain and she felt bad about it, especially as it upset Rickie. That's not to say that things went back to how they were, Angela and Sharon weren't joined by the hip in school. Angela made new friends and divided her time between them. But when they both got places at Colombia, Angela was grateful to have Sharon there and they grew close again.

When all of the guests were seated the waiters began serving a meal. Another woman from Angela's office had joined their table with her husband. The eighth place was initially taken by a man who worked on the floor above but at the last minute he changed places with Will. Angela desperately attempted to maintain conversation with Sharon so as to limit the risk of Will trying to talk to her. But they could only discuss the candelabra centrepiece for so long and Will took full advantage of the first opportunity to jump in and talk to Angela again. Sharon struck up a conversation with one of the other women on the table who took an interest in her work in marketing. Will leaned in like he did before and spoke to Angela in almost a whisper.

"I think you look beautiful by the way,"

The remark took Angela by surprise and she instinctively sat back in her chair to create some distance between them. Will let out a short laugh which left Angela feeling even more uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry. It was a compliment. I didn't mean to offend you"

"You didn't. I just wasn't expecting it,"

Will smiled as Angela rested her arm on the table and leant in again.

"You know, I think Adams has something special planned for his speech," he winks at her and taps the side of his nose as if he has told her a secret.

"Oh no you don't think he's going to try and persuade us he's a real person do you?"

"There's not enough money in the world to manage that," Will laughed.

Angela laughed freely. It felt good. It felt good talking to him and being with him.

"Well you never know one day it might be you up there. I heard they put you in charge of a big account,"

"I don't know about that …

His voice faded out. She wanted to listen to him but her attention had been drawn elsewhere. Angela took a sip of her champagne but only to give her an excuse to look over at a table on the other side of the room. A number of waiters were gathered there serving the table with their food. As though he had felt the weight of her gaze, one of them turned and their eyes met briefly. He lowered his eyes quickly and turned back to the guests at the table. Angela felt cold, it had always been that way when Jordan Catalano turned away from her.


	2. Chapter 2

"With any luck they'll send up a few people from downstairs to give us a hand, otherwise we'll be rushed off our feet until Christmas,"

Angela tuned back in just in time to catch Will's last comment. She smiled.

"With any luck,"

In her head Angela was screaming. She glanced across at the table again to be sure it hadn't been a trick of her mind but there was no mistaking the profile of his face. Angela could feel her heart pounding in her chest and her eyes were clouded over. Just when she thought she would have to explain away the tears that were about to fall on her cheeks the room was called to silence and Christopher Adams stood up to make his speech to his employees.

She couldn't help but look. While Adams held the attention of every other guest, Angela couldn't help but study every detail of the waiter pouring glasses of champagne at a serving table near the doors. Of course he wasn't a teenager anymore, his face had lost some of its softness but even from this distance she could tell he was still very beautiful. He looked odd in his white suit, with his hair pulled back tight into a short pigtail, like he held a grudge against the whole thing. Angela hadn't noticed she was smiling. And when she did she immediately felt guilty. Nothing she had said or done to those boys in university whom she had discarded without reason could compare to her behaviour toward Jordan Catalano. She forced herself to look up at Adams and tried to focus on his speech but she couldn't stop her mind dwelling on other things.

The applause that signalled the end of the speech lasted a little too long to be sincere. Sharon noticed that Angela was not joining in but staring into the centre of the table.

"Angela what's the matter?"

Angela turned to Sharon, who thought she recognised something about the look in her eyes.

"Can we get some air?"

"Sure,"

Angela placed her hand on Will's arm to get his attention. "We're going to get some air,"

Will smiled and nodded as Sharon and Angela made their way toward one of the exits.

They emerged into a corridor and Angela immediately felt calmer knowing there was a solid wall between herself and Jordan. She leant against it as Sharon observed her with concern.

"Did Will say something to you? Did he upset you?"

Angela shook her head slowly.

"Then what?"

"Jordan's in there,"

Sharon looked puzzled for a few moments before Angela's words sunk in.

"Jordan Catalano works for Adams and Vaught?"

"No, for the hotel. He saw me, I think,"

There was silence for at least a minute as Sharon struggled to decide what she should say next and Angela lost herself in her own thoughts. It hadn't ended well with Jordan. Angela forgave him for sleeping with Rayanne and there was an unspoken understanding about the true author of the letter. For about a year their relationship was as near to perfect as Angela could have imagined. The night he took her virginity Jordan was gentle and affectionate, and endearingly nervous to the point where it was actually left to Angela to lead the way to his bedroom. Afterwards they lay together in his bed, their faces close together. He ran his fingers up and down her back and she stroked his face.

"Do you want to leave?" Sharon finally broke the silence.

"I might take a walk outside for a while,"

"Okay,"

"Alone,"

"Oh, sure," Sharon tried to smile but she was worried for her friend. She backed toward the door and disappeared into the function room.

Angela waited until the door had fully closed again. She could feel a slight breeze and guessed a door was open further down the corridor. It was a fire door that opened on to a delivery yard for the hotel. Angela stepped out and breathed in the cool air. She heard muffled voices and noticed a group of the waiters and waitresses from the function room gathered on boxes near another set of doors. Angela stepped back against the wall to conceal herself in the shadow. The group must have been on a break. They had a bottle of champagne that they were passing between themselves and a cheer went up as another white suited employee emerged through the doors brandishing a tray of food.

One of the men stood up and stepped away from the rest. He lit a cigarette and leant against the wall. Angela knew immediately that it was Jordan. The doors opened again and this time a young woman stepped out. She leant over the shoulder of one of her colleagues and snatched the champagne bottle from him, taking a drink before handing it back and laughing. She slapped the man on the back and moved away toward Jordan. Angela held her breath. She could tell by the way the woman walked toward him, combing her hair back with her fingers, that she was about to claim Jordan Catalano as her own. Angela closed her eyes as the woman leant in and kissed him. When she opened her eyes Jordan was holding the woman against him with one hand placed at the base of her back. She took his cigarette and drew deeply on it. As the woman leant in to kiss Jordan again Angela decided she couldn't witness any more and returned inside.

She pulled the door to and leant against the wall of the corridor, closing her eyes and fighting back tears she had no right to shed.

"Angela,"

It was several moments until she dared to open them. When she did her eyes met his.

"You've been gone forever?" Will hadn't been satisfied by Sharon's explanation for her absence and had decided to find Angela himself. "Was the speech that bad? I thought it was quite entertaining,"

"Yeah," Angela smiled but she was embarrassed by how fake it seemed in her minds eye, "I needed some time to recover from his sickening self depreciation,"

Will laughed. "As long as you're okay,"

"I am," she nodded.

"Sure I'm not going to find you slumped in the bar in the early hours?"

"No!" Angela slapped his shoulder. Will grinned and returned to the dinner. Angela watched him go. She went to lean back against the wall as Jordan appeared in the doorway.

"Oh," he hesitated and Angela could tell he was considering just turning around and walking away from her, "what are you doing here?" It probably came out sounding more aggressive than he had intended, though Angela couldn't be sure.

"I'm here for the dinner,"

"Right, I thought I saw in there. I thought it might have been a trick of my mind or something,"

"So you work here?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Nothing,"

Jordan frowned and looked down at the floor. "I gotta take these up there. I mean I can't like stand here talking,"

"Well you should go,"

Jordan hesitated, he kept his eyes lowered as he passed her with a stack of silver trays and disappeared through a service door off the corridor.


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, forgot before: I don't own My So-Called Life or any of the characters etc etc**

Jordan's apartment was small and his neighbours never spoke to him. Sometimes the lights flickered and sometimes the landlord asked him for money when he had paid all his bills. But he had lived here for over a year now and had grown to accept the fact that it was as good as he could expect. Veronica stepped out of the bathroom in nothing but a long grey t-shirt. She wrapped her arms around Jordan as he sat at the table and kissed his neck.

She whispered in his ear between kisses, "you tired?"

Jordan placed his hand over hers. She pulled him out of his seat and led him to the bedroom.

He met Veronica through his work at the hotel. He had been working there for several months before she arrived. After only a week she was accused of being drunk on shift. As shift supervisor, Jordan vouched for her when the management threatened to take her job. In return Veronica took him into a storage room behind the kitchens and gave him a blowjob for his trouble. She was a slender brunette with distinctive oval eyes and high cheekbones. Jordan didn't know how she came to be living with him but he was pretty sure she had nowhere else to go. She wasn't exactly reliable, she was forever getting warnings at work and Jordan was almost certain the nights she spent away from his apartment were spent with other men. But somehow she always seemed to be there when he needed her and the simplicity of their relationship suited him, even if it didn't exactly leave him feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

That night he thought of Angela. He had gone several months without thinking about her but he couldn't get the image of her standing there in her black dress out of his head. When he moved to New York he thought about finding her. Before leaving Three Rivers he visited Patty and she gave him details of where Angela was living. He had always got on well with her mom. Shortly after Patty and Graham separated, Jordan visited Angela and he found Patty crying in the kitchen. There was an awkward moment but then Patty put her arms around him and cried into his shoulder. He had always remembered that. Just like the time when Angela found him under the bleachers at school when Sharon's father had been rushed to hospital. She was upset and he had wrapped his arms around her and let her cry against him. Jordan had never experienced anything like the feel of standing there with Angela in his arms knowing she had sought him out because she wanted him to comfort her. No one had ever needed him like that. Veronica certainly didn't.

**In case you hadn't already guessed this is my first fanfic so please read and review! **


	4. Chapter 4

Under normal circumstances, Jordan worked in the largest of the hotel's restaurants. The week went slowly, the boredom only occasionally punctuated by steamy meetings with Veronica in various locations around the hotel. One afternoon she even managed to get hold of a key to one of the suites and she fucked him in its Jacuzzi bath.

This afternoon he was very busy serving the restaurant's set menu lunch. The room was full with residents and non-residents eager to experience the restaurant's critically acclaimed food. Jordan returned to the kitchen pass.

One of the chefs shouted to him, "table 12," as he collected another plate.

Jordan stepped back out into the restaurant and approached table 12 in the corner by the window. The woman sitting there had her back to him and Jordan didn't look up as he placed the food in front of her.

"Jordan,"

He paused and looked up into the face of Angela Chase.

"Do you think we could talk?" Angela looked straight into his eyes and Jordan prayed she couldn't tell what he had been doing with Veronica just two hours before. Even when they were sleeping together Angela had never lost the innocence and purity that Jordan had always loved about her. He felt self conscious and ashamed.

"I gotta work," he said sadly.

"Don't you get a break?"

Jordan sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, "I guess,"

The extent of Jordan's reluctance took her by surprise even though she was well prepared for him to be less than friendly. She looked down at her hands in her lap.

"We're kinda busy right now," he continued, "you should eat your food, maybe when you're done it'll be quieter and we can go somewhere,"

Angela looked up at him smiling.

"Thanks,"

After about half an hour a waiter come to Angela's table to take away her plate. He leant in toward her.

"Jordan asked me to tell you he's waiting outside,"

Angela thanked him. She paid her bill and left the restaurant to find Jordan.

As she descended the steps outside the entrance she saw him waiting across the street. She paused for a few seconds. He was pacing around the pavement smoking and getting in people's way. Angela recalled stepping out of her parent's house and seeing him waiting for her, leaning against his car. She crossed the road and he turned around almost instinctively as she approached him.

"I've got thirty minutes,"

They walked together in silence to a small café where they sat and ordered drinks.

Jordan rested his hands on the table and Angela would have given anything for him to stretch across and take her hand in one of his.

"How long have you been in New York?" Angela looked up at him.

"A year and a half. My dad took off and sold the house, I didn't have anywhere to go so,"

"He sold your house, like without telling you?"

"Yeah. It's probably the best thing he ever did for me. I got my own place now. I don't have to worry about him getting in drunk and fucking the place up," Jordan looked down at his hands knowing he was concealing how lonely he was.

"I have my own place, kind of. I share with Sharon Cherski, we went to school with her,"

"Oh yeah, the one with the chest right?"

"Yeah," Angela had always been jealous of Sharon's breasts and Jordan's comment brought the feelings of inadequacy flooding back.

Jordan watched as Angela glanced around the cafe. He couldn't believe how little she'd changed. When he looked in the mirror Jordan couldn't see anything of the teenager who had made out with Angela Chase in the boiler room. His life then had seemed so complicated but it turned out to be nothing in comparison with the confusion that he found away from high school and away from Angela.

"So are you like happy?"

Jordan looked straight into Angela's eyes. The question caught her off guard and she lied to him, "Yeah I'm happy" but a single tear escaped and gave her away.

Jordan reached out and wiped it away, and before he could remove it from her face Angela pressed her own hand against his and held it there. After a few moments she released it and was immediately embarrassed.

"So are _you_ happy?" it came out sounding more like an accusation than a question.

"No," Jordan said simply. Angela felt a pain a her chest. His answer came so quickly it was as though he wanted to hear himself say it out loud, like admit to himself. "I have to get back," Jordan stood up and Angela followed him out of the café.

Once outside Angela hesitated.

"Can we meet up again? I really need time to explain things to you,"

"Sure,"

"I'll give you my address. You should come round on Saturday – if you want. I'll be in,"

Angela wrote her address down on a scrap of paper from her diary and handed it to Jordan.

"Thanks,"

She watched him walked back toward the hotel. She could feel her eyes filling with tears again. She could tell he was really hurting and she knew it was her fault.


	5. Chapter 5

**I don't own mscl. **

In work, Angela tried too avoid Will. She knew he liked her and she felt comfortable with him but she wasn't ready for a relationship, not until she had finally settled things with Jordan. But Will knew exactly where to find her, after all she worked in an office, at a desk – there was nowhere for her to go. He came and spoke to her most afternoons. They talked about all sorts of things but Angela always steered the conversation away from her love life. Will knew she was single but that was it.

On Saturday morning Angela tried to keep herself occupied tidying the apartment. Sharon was watching television in the living room. She observed Angela collecting magazines and tidying away the plates and glasses from the coffee table.

"Angela," Sharon began, "what are you doing?"

Angela looked up briefly from the bookshelf that she was rearranging.

"I'm tidying up,"

"Yes but why? There's only the two of us here. Unless you've invited your boss round," Sharon smirked.

"No. I haven't" Angela sat down on the couch next to Sharon. She adopted a light tone "so are you still going out with Sean this afternoon?" trying desperately to sound unbothered.

"You have got someone coming here," Sharon didn't fall for it fr a second, "Angela! If it's not Will then who is it?"

Angela looked across at her and let her work it out for herself.

"Jordan?! Oh my God Angela tell me you didn't,"

"I just want to talk to him. I just want to explain things,"

"Explain what?"

"Things. Everything,"

"I don't know about this,"

"Sharon it's not your decision,"

"No except I'll be the one picking up the pieces. You crying yourself to sleep for weeks on end like last time,"

"I just want to say the things I should have said before. I want to say goodbye to him properly and then we can both move on. Now are you going out or not?"

"Yes,"

Angela nodded, "good," and then continued tidying up.

**--**

It had been three weeks since Graham moved out of the Chase's house. He was back to collect the last of his things and Angela could hear him and Patty shouting downstairs. She lay down on her bed and pulled her knees up toward her chest.

The night her father left Angela and Danielle had sat with Patty on her bed and they had cried together. Since then Angela had frequently found her mom red-eyed when she got home from school.

She heard the front door slam shut and she closed her eyes to force back the tears. There was a knock on her bedroom door. Angela sat up and wiped her face.

"Come in,"

The door opened slowly and Jordan entered.

"Hey," he smiled shyly.

"Hey,"

He looked uncomfortable, he knew he'd come at an awkward time.

"So you're dad's like-, for good?"

"Yeah,"

Jordan knew how she felt, his mom left when he was seven. He sat down next to her on her bed and took her hand in his. His other hand reached out for her face and caressed her cheek as he leant in and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. His hand moved from her cheek to the back of her neck as his kisses became more passionate. Angela pushed him away.

"Jordan stop it,"

Jordan stopped. He only wanted to show her he was there for her. He knew he didn't have the words to tell her.

"I'm sorry I just-," Jordan thought he should change the subject. "So you know the guy I told you about, who's gonna hook us up with an apartment in New York? He says he's found a place where we can keep a dog if we want,"

Angela frowned, "What?"

"Well I guess most places don't let you keep pets or whatever. But he found a place that does so,"

Angela sighed and looked away from Jordan, over to the window. Jordan was running out of ideas.

"My dad is really pissing me off," Jordan accompanied his announcement with an exaggerated sigh.

"Don't,"

"Don't what?"

"Don't start complaining about your father to make me feel better,"

Jordan chewed on his thumb nail. Then suddenly he stood up. He glanced toward her door and looked uncomfortable for a moment.

"I just remembered I promised Tino I'd meet him at his place,"

"You've got practice or something?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "so I'd better go,"

Angela watched Jordan walk out to his car and drive away. She wished he could understand how she was feeling. She wished he knew how afraid she was that what they had together would deteriorate into the same sort of mess her parents now found themselves in.

The next day Angela met Rickie by her locker. Rickie watched as Rayanne passed them by and continued down the corridor.

"So you're still moving in with Jordan?" he leant back against the lockers.

"Yeah I guess," Angela watched Rayanne disappear around the corner.

"I heard Sharon got her place at Colombia,"

"She did?"

"Yeah. She sort of told Brian about it, and he told me at lunch," Rickie watched her expression. Since the letter Angela was touchy around the subject of Brian. "You must be excited. I can't imagine moving in with like you're soul mate,"

Angela scoffed, "soul mate, Rickie I'm 17,"

Her response took Rickie by surprise. Jordan Catalano had been her obsession for as long as he'd known her. But before he could question her further the bell went and Angela said a quick goodbye before rushing to her next class.

Jordan watched Angela from the back of the classroom throughout English. He liked to watch her tuck her hair behind her ear and shift her position as she tackled Katimski's latest assignment. He couldn't stand not being able to make her feel better. His parents had also split up but he had to keep reminding himself that Angela's family had been happy before Graham announced that he was leaving. Jordan's parents had never got on and when his mom left he felt more relieved than upset that she would be safe away from his dad. But he thought if he just kept being as supportive as he could and kept Angela thinking about the future, eventually things would be okay again.

After school Jordan waited for Angela in the parking lot. He watched her walk toward him. Even after a year together the sight of her still gave him chills. Once she was in reach he pulled her into him by her shoulders and buried his face in her neck. Angela couldn't help herself running her fingers through his hair.

Jordan released her slightly and looked into her face. "So I realised today that I haven't actually invited you to the dance, like formally,"

The end of high school dance was taking place the next week. Sharon was in charge of course and had been instructing students in banner painting all week.

"I guess not,"

"Do you wanna go with me?"

Angela laughed, "that's formal?"

"Well do you want to or not?"

"Yes. I would love to go with you," Angela grinned.

Jordan spun them around so Angela was against his car and began twisting a strand of her hair around his finger.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. This thing with your dad, it's just like-, I don't know how you want me to be,"

Angela looked up at him and stroked his cheek. "Just be you,"

She kissed him, first on the lips and then along his jaw line to his ear.

"When we're living together in New York it'll be just like this all the time," Jordan smiled at the thought.

**--**

Sean picked Sharon up at twelve-thirty. Angela tried waiting on the sofa but she couldn't just sit still, so she tidied the kitchen. At two o'clock she sat down again and tried to read her book. At three the door bell rang.

**Okay I realise I've posted this fanfic in the M section and I promise eventually I will get around to writing some ahem ... action. I'm working up the courage! xx**


	6. Chapter 6

Angela let Jordan in. His coat brushed her arm as he passed and Angela closed her eyes and bit her lip, savouring the feel of it.

"Sorry I'm late, I had to work a shift this morning." He stepped into the living room and glanced around "wow, you're room never used to be this tidy,"

"It's Sharon, she tidies all the time," Angela let out a nervous laugh. "Do you want to sit down?"

"Thanks," Jordan sat in the arm chair next to the fireplace.

Angela lingered in front of him "do you want a drink or something?"

"No,"

"Okay," she sat on the couch.

There was a long silence.

"Angela I … "

"Look Jordan …"

They both stopped, Jordan took a deep breath and looked out of the window. "You go."

"I know you must think I'm a terrible person and believe me I would think so too if I were you - and I do think so," she had waited so long to tell him all this but now she couldn't seem to get the words out. She let out a sigh. "But I never wanted too hurt you."

Jordan shifted in the armchair, "I find that hard to believe Angela,"

--

Jordan stood in front of the mirror in his bathroom and adjusted the tie on his rented tux. He walked back into his bedroom where most of his belongings were already packed into boxes. He sat on his bed and imagined unpacking them with Angela in their own apartment.

He drove Red to Angela's house and parked up outside. Something wasn't right, the Chase's house was dark. Jordan got out of the car and took a few steps toward the door.

"She's not there,"

Jordan spun around to see Brian standing in his tux in the middle of the street.

"Where is she?"

"I don't know. She left with her mom and sister. They packed her stuff in the car so I don't think she's going to the dance,"

It crossed Jordan's mind that Brian might be playing a trick on him. But then he decided no one could be that evil.

"Well did she leave a note or something?"

Brian shook his head.

Jordan frowned and scratched his head, glancing back at the Chase house.

"So I'm sort of taking Sallie to the dance. I've got to pick her up now so-," he slowly backed away from Jordan.

Jordan climbed back into his car and sat for what seemed like an age trying to piece together what had just happened. He wasn't sure what was worse; the fact that Angela had disappeared on the night of their last prom or the fact that Brian of all people was there to witness it.

Eventually he made his way home. He sat in his room for a while not daring to remember how happy he had been, sitting there just an hour ago looking forward to his future with Angela. He took off his tux and hung it in his closet being careful not to let it crease. Downstairs he found a bottle of whiskey and curled up in a chair.

--

Angela took a deep breath and pushed her hair back from her face.

"It was like being with you was a fantasy or something, it was so perfect. We had our own little world. The thought of us moving away was like taking the fantasy and just throwing it into reality and I was terrified it would change us. And then my parents-, I was afraid Jordan. The night of the dance I just stood there looking in the mirror and I panicked,"

"So you left without a word? Because you were scared things would be different? It was three weeks before I even knew what happened to you,"

"I'm sorry,"

"It doesn't cut it Angela," his voice wavering, "that night I came for you to take you to the dance and you weren't there, it was the worst night of my life,"

His face was complete sincerity. Angela looked down, she knew this wouldn't be easy, but she had never felt this ashamed. " I was a coward," she finally concluded, "it just seemed like everything was moving so fast. I don't just mean us. I mean life - in general. You were the only constant and if you had come with me to New York you would have been part of it too. I don't know, I liked the idea that you were still there in Three Rivers just-,"

"- just a fantasy,"

"When I got here I realised what a terrible thing I had done to you. I would have called but I was so ashamed of myself that I didn't think I had the right,"

"Why didn't you talk to me? I would have understood,"

"No Jordan," she smiled and shook her head, "you were too wrapped up in it,"

Jordan stood and moved to the window. He understood, even if wished he didn't. He began to recall the subtle signals from Angela that he would have picked up on then if he hadn't been so preoccupied with planning their future. And of course her parents' separation had hit her hard. He should have realised it would lead her to rethink their plans.

"I fucked up, okay" Angela spoke quietly.

"You did. But there's no point the both of us hurting forever. We should just shake hands and go back to our lives," he bit out the last words, resenting every one.

Angela heard the struggle in his voice. She stood and joined him by the window. She held out her hand but Jordan didn't take it straight away. Angela thought she saw a tear on his eyelashes. He took a deep intake of breath and wiped his eyes before turning to her and taking her hand. He didn't let go. He pulled her toward him and kissed her with more intensity than she had experienced with any of the boys from college. He wrapped his arms tight around her and showed her what four years of pent up passion felt like. To Angela it seemed as though the time that had passed between their last kiss and this moment was forgotten as long as she had his taste in her mouth. But it was over all too quickly. Jordan pulled away. He mumbled an apology before quickly making for the door. Before Angela could protest, he was gone.

**Thank you so much for the encouraging reviews xx **


	7. Chapter 7

Jordan slammed the door of his apartment and threw himself down on the couch. He was out of breath from a combination of running up the stairs and the explosive mixture of emotions rushing around his body. He leant forward and rested his head in his hands. He tried to get his breathing under control but all he could think was Angela, and how good she had felt in his arms again.

"Jordan?" Veronica emerged from the kitchen. She had a half empty bottle of vodka in her hand and she stumbled a little as she made her way to the couch. She giggled as she slowly lowered herself on to Jordan's lap. "Do you want a drink?" she smiled and pushed the top of the bottle against his mouth trying to get him to drink from it. He pulled his head away.

"I don't want it,"

"Just one drink Jordan. A little drink?"

She tried again to get him to drink from the bottle but he pushed it away before pushing her off his lap and standing up.

"What's wrong?"

She reached up to put her arms around his neck and he could smell the sweet stench of the alcohol on her breath. He hated that smell.

"Let me make it better," she giggled "whatever it is," she nibbled on his earlobe between more giggles. Then suddenly she felt a strong hand on her shoulder and another took hold of her face. "Jord-," his lips met hers with ferocious power. She struggled in his grip and managed to break free of him long enough to speak, "Jordan you're hurting me,"

"I thought you wanted to,"

"I do but," she shook free of his grip on her shoulder and rubbed it "jeez,". Jordan moved toward her again and kissed her with equal urgency. This time she wrapped her arms around his neck and Jordan lifted her up and carried her into the bedroom. There was no tenderness, just sex. Every time Veronica reached up to kiss him Jordan turned his face away and pushed her back down to the bed. She thought it was a game and giggled every time he did it. Jordan felt ill.

When it was over he walked back out into the sitting room and switched on the television. Veronica reappeared twenty minutes later.

"I'm heading out Jordan. My friend called she's really upset, her boyfriend broke up with her. We might head out for a few drinks so don't wait up okay,"

Jordan watched her leave. Her skirt rode high up her thighs and her top so low it left the top portion of her bra exposed. He knew where she was going but tonight he didn't care. Tonight he had used her as much as she used him.

--

The next day Angela couldn't concentrate in work. She had so much to do and was falling behind but all she could think about was Jordan. She tried to convince herself that the kiss had meant nothing but it had been so passionate that she couldn't help but hope.

She saw Will emerge from his office. He glanced over at her and she quickly looked across at her computer screen so as to avoid eye contact. But out of the corner of her eye she could see him approaching her desk.

"Hey," he rested a hand on her desk.

"Hey,"

"I've got a surprise for you,"

"What sort of surprise?"

"Are you busy tonight?"

Angela made a quick scan of her brain for an excuse but couldn't come up with anything quick enough, "no". She silently cursed Jordan for taking up so much of her brain capacity.

"I'll pick you up at seven thirty,"

"Okay," Angela said frowning a little.

"Great," Will rapped his knuckles on her desk before walking away.

Angela couldn't believe it. How much more confusion could one woman handle?

After work Angela returned home to find Sharon and Sean entwined on the couch watching a movie.

"Angela you wouldn't mind if Sean stayed for dinner tonight would you? I'm going to attempt that pie you taught me,"

"No that's fine. But I'd start with the chilli before you try the pie. It's still a bit advanced for you,"

Angela had set about emptying her briefcase on to the dining table.

Sharon took the advice cheerfully, "okay. But you don't mind right?"

"No I'm going out tonight,"

"You? Going out? Where?"

"I don't know it's a surprise,"

"From who?"

By this time Sharon had sat up on her knees and was resting her chin on the back of the sofa watching Angela organising her paperwork.

"Sharon quit quizzing her," Sean tried to pull her back down on to the sofa but Sharon persisted.

"It's not Jordan is it? After yesterday, Angela I don't think it's a good idea,"

"It's not Jordan,"

"Well jeez how many guys have you got going?"

"It's Will okay,"

"Oh," Sharon smiled, pleased that she had managed to unearth the truth but surprised that Angela had given in so soon. She sat back down next to Sean but retained the smirk of her victory.

Angela waited in her room for Will to arrive. She liked him. He was handsome, but not in the same way that Jordan was handsome. She enjoyed their conversations about economics and current affairs, but sometimes she just wanted to discuss the strange woman at the bus stop who collected used bus tickets and had a cat living in her shopping cart, and all the strange and funny things she and Jordan used to laugh about. And when Will leaned toward her across her desk in work she liked the closeness but she didn't get goose bumps like she did with Jordan.

Will arrived spot on seven thirty, Jordan would inevitably have been late. In the cab Will sat close to her and at one point he ran a finger across her hand as it lay on the seat.

"Where are we going anyway?" Angela asked at last.

"Actually we're going back to the Vallette. I spotted their caramel ice cream with maple toffee sauce when we were here before. I've been dying to give it a try ever since,"

Angela smiled a little "great,"

As they entered the restaurant Angela scanned it for Jordan. She couldn't see him and she wasn't sure whether she liked that or not.

She ate her meal mostly in silence. Will wanted to tell her all about the flying lessons he'd been taking. She was interested. He was engaging. But he wasn't Jordan and Angela couldn't help but glance around the restaurant every now and then.

Jordan arrived for his shift ten minutes late. He changed into his uniform in the staff room. Veronica hadn't come back the night before and he'd finished off the bottle of vodka before falling asleep on the couch. It had been almost a year since he last had a drink and he woke feeling depressed and aching all over. Before starting work in the restaurant Jordan paid a visit to the hotel bar where the barman helped him to a double shot of whiskey.

"Did you enjoy your meal?"

"Yes, thank you" Angela sipped her coffee.

Will chewed his bottom lip for a moment and took a slight sideways glance. He lowered his voice, "I could get us a room?"

Angela was speechless for a moment, hardly believing how quickly the conversation had spun around, "I have to get back,"

Will pouted, "I hear the suites are some of the most romantic in the city,"

"Really I-, I can't,"

"You're worried I'd tell everyone? You don't fancy yourself the source of office gossip,"

"Well no. But I mean I trust you wouldn't say anything, it's not that,"

"Well then,"

"Well what?"

Will smiled slyly. There was something about the look in his eyes that made Angela uneasy. She began to analyse the whole evening, wondering if maybe she could have given off the wrong signals.

"I don't want to Will," she looked up at him.

The smile slowly slipped from his face "but I thought we were close?"

"We are. I like you a lot. But I'm not ready for anything like that right now,"

"So all this was just you leading me on?"

"No," Angela frowned, she didn't like how the conversation was going, "I think I should leave," she stood and walked quickly out of the restaurant into the hotel lobby. Will followed her.

The lobby was busy with people checking in and out of the hotel as well as guests scattered around in the seating areas. As Angela made for the main door she felt a hand wrap around her wrist and bring her to a halt. She turned.

"Will let go of me please,"

He shook his head, "not going to happen,"

Angela was close to tears, she tried to free herself from Will's hold but his grip was too tight. "Let go,"

"Shhh, let's not make a scene. We can take a cab back to my place, I've got champagne,"

Will led her toward the main door but bumped into a member of staff crossing the lobby to the restaurant.

"Watch it," Will pushed the man out of the way.

"Angela?"

"Jordan," Angela wept tears of relief at the sight of him.

"Excuse me we're just leaving," Will tried to continue pulling Angela toward the door. By this time they had drawn the attention of some of the other people in the lobby.

"You're not leaving with her," Jordan stood face to face with Will, placing a hand against his shoulder, stopping him in his tracks.

"I think I am,"

"I said. You are not leaving with her,"

"God your breath stinks. How about you let us go before I tell your boss you were drunk at work?"

Jordan looked at Angela who shook her head.

Jordan's shot hit Will between the eyes and he fell to the floor, drawing a gasp from the spectators. Angela nearly lost her footing too as Will fell but Jordan caught her with an arm around her waist. She clung to him as she recovered her breathing.

"It's okay," he whispered in her ear, "come on,"

He led her out of the hotel and she followed willingly.

**okay making you wait a little bit longer tee hee xx**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry I took a little while to update. Life is toooo busy at the moment. **

"Could I maybe get a drink or something?"

Angela had been sitting on Jordan's couch for nearly ten minutes while he paced around the living room. He looked at her, puzzled, as if he'd forgotten she was there.

"Sure,"

He disappeared into the kitchen and Angela had some time to look around the living room properly. It was much smaller than hers and filled with mismatched bits of furniture. She noticed some clothes hanging over the radiator and smiled at the sight of Jordan's socks lined up to dry. There was a white vest also, and next to it a bra. Angela turned her attention away from the clothes to the window. Her chest felt tight, she knew it must be the woman from the hotel. Jordan reappeared with two mugs of coffee. He handed one to Angela.

"Thanks,"

Jordan sat down next to her.

She turned to him "thank you," she spoke the words slowly and deliberately. She couldn't imagine how the situation with Will had gotten so out of hand.

"Okay,"

Disheartened that he had not turned to look at her, Angela tucked her hair behind her ear and sipped her coffee.

Jordan let out a long sigh. "This isn't how it was supposed to be. I didn't think I'd have to see you again,"

"I'm sorry," Angela said with a hint of annoyance.

"No. You know what I mean,"

Angela glanced back across to the radiator. She bit her lip but she couldn't help the question slipping out "what's her name?"

Jordan frowned and looked up at her, "who?"

"The woman I saw you with at the hotel,"

"Oh, no she's not-,

"Her bra is hanging over your heater Jordan," Angela smiled.

Jordan closed his eyes briefly, "Veronica. But we're not-, I mean-,"

"I had loads of boyfriends in college so you don't have to lie. I'm not like jealous or anything because I had a lot of guys after you. A lot," Angela laughed as if to emphasise the point.

"She's no one okay,"

"Well she must be someone I mean she's obviously staying here. Really you don't have to act like this,"

Jordan exhaled loudly "why do you always do this?"

"Do what?"

"Just push things, stuff you have no idea about,"

"So I'm not allowed to ask you questions now?"

"No. You wouldn't like the answers," he looked at her "you'd be disappointed or something,"

"Why would I?" as soon as she asked it she knew she was just doing what he'd said. She shut her eyes and there was silence.

"Because when I look at you, it's like you're this perfect-," the words failed him so he just reached out and touched her hair "I'm not the same person you knew back in school Angela,"

"I'm not the same either,"

Jordan shook his head, "you don't understand,"

"So tell me. What is it you've done that you think is so terrible? Jordan?"

"You really want to know?

Angela nodded.

"Okay. I spent the three years after you left getting wasted. I was totally out of it, out of control. I put my dad in hospital twice – I mean he deserved it but what son puts his dad in the hospital whatever he's done? And now I live with a woman who couldn't give a shit about me as long I fuck her when the rest of the dick heads she's fucking around with can't be bothered with her anymore. And I'm too weak to do anything about it because if she leaves I'm gonna be on my own and I'm scared or something," his voice wavered near the end.

Angela moved closer to him and placed her hand on top of his as it lay on his knee. Their fingers entwined and Jordan held on tight. They both looked down at their hands.

"I lied. There weren't all that many guys in college. And when I _was_ with somebody I treated them like dirt because they weren't you and it drove me crazy." She reached up and caressed his cheek, he closed his eyes and she could feel him leaning into her touch. "I don't care how terrible you think you are," she smiled "you look the same to me," she leant forward and placed a lingering kiss on his mouth.

"Angela," it came out as a whisper.

They undressed slowly. Angela couldn't help but stare as Jordan unbuttoned his shirt. His body was leaner than it had been when she knew him before, his muscles more defined and he had acquired a tattoo just above his hip. She traced it with her finger - three letters.

"Red," she smiled at him.

"Yeah,"

"What happened to it?"

Jordan looked pained "I got wasted and got into a fight with a pick-up. I started fixing her up but I didn't finish before my dad sold the house so I had to store her somewhere for a while,"

"In New York?"

He shook his head sadly.

They both removed the last of their clothes. Jordan moved closer to Angela until she could feel the heat from his body. He ran his hands down her sides before wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her fully against him, gasping as her soft, warm skin came into contact with his hardened member. Jordan took her mouth in a passionate kiss and she buried her hands in his hair, thrilled by the taste of him and the urgency of his touch. They moved together on to the couch and Jordan lowered himself between her legs. He paused to savour the look in her eyes, which seemed to mirror his own passion. He had waited too long for this.

"Jordan?" Angela whispered. He was frowning and Angela thought he might have had a change of heart.

"I've missed you,"

She smiled, "I've missed you,"

He entered her slowly and they both took a ragged breath at the sensation. Jordan had always filled her perfectly but Angela had forgotten just how good he felt. She ran her hand down his back to his butt and squeezed as he withdrew and entered her again. They found their rhythm quickly, never breaking eye contact except when they kissed or when Angela nuzzled against his shoulder as she felt the spasms of her climax beginning deep inside. She knew Jordan was close, his moans were getting louder and the grip of his hand in her hair was getting tighter. They came together. Jordan cried out her name as Angela wrapped her legs around him and held him close. Afterwards, they lay entwined on the couch with Jordan running his fingers up and down her back just as he'd done the first time they ever slept together.

"I should go soon," Angela said at last. She was dreading having to leave Jordan's apartment but she knew she had to return to reality eventually.

"I know,"

Jordan pulled on a pair of jeans and watched as Angela got dressed.

"So am I gonna see you again?" he asked.

"Do you want to?"

Jordan nodded, reaching out and pulling her toward him. He stared at her and bit his lip, which sent a fresh surge of desire through Angela's body. He began refastening the buttons on her top, placing a kiss on her collarbone before threading the final button and rendering her fully dressed again. "I'll meet you in the boiler room," he smiled.

"If only," Angela laughed.

Jordan pulled her into a final kiss. The kiss became more and more intense until Jordan had to force himself to pull away before he was unable to control the urge to tear off her clothes and have her again.

"I really have to go," Angela was breathless. Jordan nodded in resignation. She released herself from his hold and left the apartment.

When the door opened a few moments later Jordan spun around hoping to see Angela. Instead it was Veronica.

"I waited for you at work, where were you?"

Her voice was weak, she had clearly been crying. Jordan looked at her standing there and to his surprise he felt sorry for her.

"I felt really sick so I didn't turn in,"

She observed his half dressed state, "were you in bed?"

"Yeah, I was just getting a drink,"

Veronica wiped her eyes again.

"Are you okay?"

She shook her head slowly. "Jordan," she rushed toward him and he found himself embracing her. She rested her head against his chest.

"What is it?" Jordan loosened his hold.

Veronica started crying again. She managed to calm herself long enough to speak, "don't hate me,"

Jordan shook his head. Something stirred in the pit of his stomach, he had a feeling he wouldn't enjoy hearing this.

"I was talking to Nina at work about how I've been feeling funny recently. And she said I should take a pregnancy test just in case,"

Jordan exhaled deeply and allowed his head to drop forward.

"So I took the test and it turns out-," she didn't need to finish the sentence.

Jordan turned and walked slowly toward the window, rubbing his face. He could hear Veronica crying behind him.

"I'm sorry Jordan,"

"Is it mine?"

The tears stopped and her face hardened, "Jordan," she feigned shock, "of course it's yours,"

He had only a short time to run it through his mind. There was a chance it was his but then there were the infinite number of other lovers Veronica had dotted around the city. He looked across at her. Despite everything, they had shared nearly year together and, as much as Jordan despised himself for allowing the relationship to sink to the level it had, deep inside he did care for her in some strange way.

"What do you want to do?" he finally asked.

Veronica dabbed her eyes "I don't want an abortion Jordan," she paused "we could look after it together". She looked up at him, grinning.

Jordan felt a stabbing pain in his chest. Barely twenty minutes ago he was making love to Angela. He could still feel her. But he had always seen something of himself in Veronica. When they met she seemed lost like him, and now he couldn't just turn his back on her.

"Whatever you need," he concluded.

Veronica smiled to herself. "I knew you wouldn't just leave me," she approached him slowly and rested her hands against his chest, looking up into his face. "I always knew you loved me really," she kissed him.


	9. Chapter 9

Trying to concentrate on the spreadsheet in front of her was difficult when all that was running through Angela's mind were the events of last night. She ran her fingers across her lips, remembering the feel of his kisses. Suddenly she was brought back to earth.

"Angela," Will shuffled the papers he was carrying, "I just wanted to say how sorry I am about last night,"

Angela nodded.

"I really am," he continued, "I was embarrassed after you turned me down and I'd had too much to drink. Not that that's an excuse, I just-,"

Angela really didn't want to hear it. Part of her had already forgotten everything that happened before Jordan had arrived but part of her felt nervous just being near Will.

Will took a deep breath, "I hope we can still be friends,"

She nodded, "sure,"

But as he walked away Angela hoped she'd never have to speak to him again.

When she got home the door of the apartment was flung open just as she was about to put her key in the lock. Sharon stood in the doorway, arms folded and head tiled to the side in anger.

Angela raised her eyebrows, "Sharon?"

Sharon stepped out of the apartment and lowered her voice to a harsh whisper "Jordan's here," she pointed into the apartment.

"Really?" Angela couldn't help the smile that crept across her face.

"What is he doing here?"

"Why don't you ask him?"

Sharon frowned and placed her hands on her hips.

"Well I don't know Sharon, he does what he wants to do I'm not in charge of him,"

"And now he's sitting in our kitchen waiting for you, for an hour and a half,"

"Really?" the smile spread wider. She passed Sharon and dropped her briefcase on the table.

Sharon took her by the arm and pulled her back, "You could get hurt here Angela,"

Angela glanced at her and continued through to the kitchen where she found Jordan sitting at the table looking at the novel she had left there in the morning.

He looked up as she entered. She smiled.

He held up the book "I read this,"

"You did?"

"Yeah,"

Angela sat down opposite him at the table and watched him flicking through the pages. She remembered when they would lie in bed together and she would listen to Jordan practicing his reading.

Jordan put the book down and chewed his thumbnail. The way he was fidgeting and glancing around the room made Angela concerned, the thought crossed her mind that he might have come to tell her it had all been a big mistake.

"Did you have work today?"

Jordan shook his head, "I got suspended,"

"Why?"

"That guy you were with lodged a complaint about me. I'll probably keep my job but I'm gonna lose the supervisor status,"

"Oh my god Jordan, I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do? I could go in and talk to your boss. I could tell them you only hit him because you were protecting me,"

"It wasn't that. He told them I was drunk,"

"Oh,"

"It was just that day, you know? I don't drink anymore,"

Angela nodded. "I could kill that man, do you know he had the cheek to come up to me today and ask if we could still be friends? And all the time he'd dropped you in it,"

Jordan smiled, that slow shy smile, "yeah? What d'you tell him?"

"Well I said yes. But I mean now I know what he's done to you of course I would have kicked him in the balls. I should, I mean I have every right,"

Jordan laughed. He liked it when she was feisty. In the back of his mind he knew he had to tell her about Veronica and the baby. That's why he came, he was determined to tell her but he was still trying to figure it out himself and he was afraid he might loose Angela when they had only just found one another again.

"So, I mean, I know it's not really my business but I was wondering about Veronica and you. I mean are you still going to see her? You know, properly? I realise that we've only just-, and I have no right to dictate to you how to live your life but I was just … interested," she looked him straight in the eyes.

"Angela. I can't just throw her out,"

"No I know that,"

Jordan knew he should tell her but the words wouldn't come out, "I'll tell her it's over, I'll ask her to leave,"

Angela was relieved but she could tell that Jordan clearly felt more for this woman than he had admitted to her, perhaps more than he had admitted to himself. She searched his face for any clue to the truth but Jordan gave away nothing.

Sharon rushed into the kitchen.

"Don't mind me, just getting my purse," she shot Angela a glance as she passed, "Sean's waiting outside. It was nice to see you Jordan,"

"Yeah and you,"

Sharon left, but not before glancing at Angela once more to make clear her disapproval.

Jordan smiled, having seen Sharon's worried looks "she was lying right? About it being nice to see me,"

Angela laughed, "I don't know. She's kind of protective of me". Then, just for a moment, Angela felt unsure. She knew it was being kind of pushy but she had to know for certain that it would be over between Jordan and Veronica, "do you know when you'll ask her to leave?" As soon as she'd asked it she regretted it. She could hear how desperate it sounded.

Jordan considered his answer. Everything was telling him to be honest but he was scared, so he lied "I'll tell her tonight,"


	10. Chapter 10

Jordan arrived early for his shift and was relieved to find the staff room empty. He made himself a coffee and sank into the couch, which he always thought was far too comfortable to be in any staff room – how did the management expect anyone to get back to work on time when they could be relaxing on there? He wrapped both hands around the coffee cup and stared across the room to a painting of a generic picturesque landscape hanging on the opposite wall.

It had been nearly two weeks since he had promised Angela that he would ask Veronica to move out. He'd seen Angela three times and every time he had been determined to tell her the truth but each time he had failed. He knew Veronica couldn't afford a place of her own and he had promised to help with the baby. If only he had just told Angela the truth to begin with. Instead he had watched the lie snowball. As far as Angela knew he had sorted everything with Veronica and she was preparing to move in with a friend at the end of the week.

Jordan's head was spinning. Part of him felt angry at the injustice of it all. Why did this have to happen to him? He was just as much a victim in this; having just rediscovered his first real love only to be faced with a seemingly insurmountable obstacle at the first turn. In his heart though, he knew he only had himself to blame. Why couldn't he just have told Angela? Why does he never learn?

--

Angela spread the newspapers out on the kitchen table like she did every Sunday morning. She made herself a cup of coffee, poured some cold milk over her cereal and settled down to catch up with the news. Half way through reading a theatrical review her concentration was broken by Sharon, who burst into the kitchen with such gusto that Angela almost spilled her coffee.

"Guess what,"

Angela carefully placed her mug on the table before looking up. Sharon was standing directly in front of her, leaning slightly forward, eyes wide, and a letter held out in front of her. Angela allowed a pause but it was clear Sharon wasn't going to continue until she had received the necessary reply.

Angela sighed "what?"

"Rayanne Graff is getting married in Three Rivers and we are both invited, along with any significant others," she squealed in excitement.

"Rayanne is getting married?" she extended a hand and Sharon passed her one of the invitations. Angela read it. She couldn't help feeling a pang of regret that she had barely been in contact with Rayanne since leaving Three Rivers. "Scott James,"

"I knew a Scott who played soccer for Liberty but I'm pretty sure he turned out to be gay. Maybe he's from out of town," Sharon pondered, "or maybe he's older," she grinned with an enthusiasm that Angela found quite puzzling.

"Maybe,"

"So, we're going right?"

Angela read the invitation over again. It seemed wrong somehow that Rayanne was getting married and this was the first she'd heard of it.

"I guess,"

"Fantastic, it's criminal how long it's been since I've visited my mom,"

Sharon buzzed out of the room almost as fast as she'd entered leaving Angela to muse over the ups an downs of her friendship with Rayanne. It wasn't as if they fell out back in high school. They seemed to run out of things to say and after a while they'd gone so long without having a proper conversation that it seemed awkward to just start talking again as normal. Angela decided it would be a good idea to go.

--

Jordan arrived home to find Veronica slumped in front of the television, a wine glass on the coffee table in front of her.

"What are you doing?"

She craned her neck to look at him.

"It's an old episode of ER. See, George Clooney,"

"I mean the wine Veronica. Don't you know you're not supposed to drink alcohol?"

"I only had one glass,"

Jordan shook his head.

"I'm going to my friend's house in a bit. She's going to be my birthing partner so we're going to talk babies," she smiled up at him.

"She's going to be your birthing partner? What about me?" Jordan said with a hint of hurt in his voice.

"How many children have you had Jordan?"

"None,"

"Sarah's had four,"

Conversation over, she rested her head back on the arm of the couch and resumed her television viewing.

Jordan was surprised by the extent of his disappointment at being pushed away, subconsciously he had really started to like the idea of being a dad.

When Veronica had gone, Jordan got ready to go out and meet Angela.

--

They had booked a table at an Italian restaurant and Angela found Jordan already at the table when she arrived. She had bought a new dress with the assistance of Sharon, who had ensured it was significantly shorter than anything else Angela owned. She felt a little self conscious walking through the restaurant but as soon as she saw the smile spread across Jordan's face as his eyes travel up and down her body, any sense of insecurity was gone. She sat down close to him in the booth and she felt his hand on her knee almost immediately.

A waiter came over and they ordered drinks.

"So how's work?"

"Do we have to talk about it?" Angela sighed, "Will is still following me everywhere like a stray puppy. I don't know what's wrong with him,"

"What do you mean following you?"

"It's nothing sinister,"

"Maybe you shouldn't work there anymore,"

"No, I'm not leaving because of him,"

"Didn't you ever tell anyone about what happened?"

"Nothing did happen, he didn't assault me. Anyway everybody would have it in for me if they found out I went on a date with the boss. They'd hate me even more than they do now,"

"I bet they don't hate you,"

"Honestly Jordan, they do. I hear them constantly discussing me behind my back and then when I try to talk to them it's like they have all these little in-jokes that they just laugh about completely at random. I hate it, it's like I'm out of the loop or something,"

The waiter returned with their drinks.

"Are you ready to order?"

"Can we have a few more minutes?"

The waiter nodded to Jordan and left. Jordan felt that wrench in his stomach that had become familiar to him.

"Angela I-," he began.

"I was going to ask you-,"

They looked at one another and Jordan conceded, "you first,"

"If you think it's a bad idea then I'll understand but I got an invitation today from Rayanne Graff, to her wedding,"

Jordan looked up, "Rayanne's getting married?"

Angela smiled, "that's exactly what I thought but apparently so. It's in Three Rivers next week,"

"Next week?"

"I know, short notice. She got the number of our apartment wrong and we think it must have sat in somebody else's post box for quite a while before they bothered to check the name. So, I'm going to go. If you don't want to then that's fine - or you can't get time off work – I'll understand, but I'd like it if you could come,"

Jordan thought quickly, the idea of getting Angela out of New York and away from Veronica gave him a sense of relief. He would have some breathing space in Three Rivers and maybe a chance to explain things to Angela. He decided quickly, "I'm owed a stack of holiday so I guess we could go,"

Angela smiled and rested her hand on his, "Thank you,"

Jordan couldn't help but feel a weight lifted off his shoulders.

They arrived back at Angela's apartment laughing about memories from high school. She opened the front door and peered round.

"Sharon?"

Hearing no reply, she pushed the door open fully and led Jordan into the centre of the sitting room.

"So Sharon's not here?"

Angela smiled, shaking her head. She knew what he wanted. His eyes were fixed on her lips, he tucked her hair behind her ear and placed a kiss on her neck. Angela let her head fall back a little and, with a firm hand either side of her face, Jordan spread his kisses across her throat eliciting a low groan. He fumbled with the buttons on her cardigan but Angela covered his hands with hers and led him to her bedroom.

It was only a short distance, but to Jordan it seemed to take them an age to pass from one room to the other. He had been hard almost from the moment they entered the apartment, in anticipation of how he hoped the evening would play out. Now it was actually happening. After the night they bumped into each other at the hotel they had agreed to take things slowly. They met for dinner; they saw a film; they walked in the park; they talked; they kissed. It was like they were getting to know each other, all over again.

Jordan smiled as Angela began to unbutton his shirt. As she pushed it back over his shoulders she leant in and kissed his bare chest. He wanted to touch her but she had his arms trapped behind him still in his sleeves. All he could do was stand there as she teased one nipple and then the other with her tongue. Finally she freed his hands and dropped his shirt to the floor, and he wasted no time in ridding her of her cardigan whilst taking her mouth roughly with passionate kisses. He groaned as she pressed her palm against the hard bulge in his trousers and felt his heart rate quicken further as she unfastened his zipper and slipped her hand inside.

Angela had never considered herself particularly sexy. With the boys in college sex was always over quickly and Angela began to forget what she ever thought was so exciting about it in the first place. But with Jordan it was different. Their first encounters in high school seemed sweetly innocent to her now, even though at the time she had never felt so on fire. As she observed Jordan's face, his eyes heavily lidded as the movements of her hand inside his pants brought him closer to ecstasy, she felt sexier than she'd ever imagined possible.

Through uneven breaths, Jordan managed to whisper "enough, god enough"

Angela withdrew her hand from his trousers and pushed them down so they fell to his ankles. Regaining his senses, Jordan felt for the fastening on Angela dress, which soon joined his trousers on the bedroom floor. They moved to the bed. Angela sat on the edge and Jordan knelt down in front of her. He reached around and unfastened her bra, slowly pulling the straps down her outstretched arms and tossing it away. They both laughed as it ended up draped over a lamp shade.

"Do you think it'll be strange being back home?"

Jordan shook his head, "it was never home after you left anyway,"


	11. Chapter 11

They arrived in Three Rivers late afternoon. Sharon had spent the entire journey recalling stories from high school but Sean was the one person who even pretended to take an interest. Angela slept most of the way and Jordan, who was driving, had his mind on other things, namely the ultrasound picture hidden in his bag.

Patty opened the door holding a large mixing bowl "you're early!" she put the bowl down on a nearby table and hugged her daughter, "I thought you weren't going to be here until tonight!"

"We got away earlier than we expected. What's this?" she indicated to the mixing bowl.

Patty laughed, "I thought I would try and bake a cake. I can't seem to get the mixture right,"

Angela stepped inside and put her bag down next to the stairs. It had been a year since she was last home and she felt a strange mixture of familiarity and sadness. She turned back toward the door where Patty and Jordan were exchanging hushed words. Patty embraced him and Angela was surprised by their closeness.

They took their bags up to Angela's bedroom. Jordan sat on the bed and looked around.

"It's been a while since I was in here,"

Angela wasn't sure whether he meant the room or the bed.

"So you and my mom are like friends?"

"She helped me out when my dad left,"

"Yeah? She never said anything to me,"

"I asked her not to,"

Angela couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy at the idea Jordan and her mom had secrets; secret even from her.

Patty called from downstairs, "Angela, Rickie's here!"

For a split second Angela was a teenager again. The number of times she had heard her mom call to her like that. But as she descended the stairs, the elegantly dressed young man waiting for her wasn't the Rickie she remembered from high school. He had made a serious name for himself in high end designer advertising. Angela had seen him several times in New York, between his regular trips to Europe, and it was through watching him change that she realised how far they had come since high school.

She hugged him and spoke muffled words into his shoulder "it's so good to see you," as she pulled away she wiped a tear from her eye.

"Hey, it's a happy time, no tears," Rickie grinned.

"I know, I'm just emotional,"

"You're not worried are you, about seeing Rayanne?"

She shook her head "no I-," she sighed "maybe a little,"

Rickie took her hand and they sat down together on the couch, "look she obviously wants you to be here, or else she wouldn't have invited you. This could be a chance for the two of you to start over. I mean she's so different Angela, since she's met Scott, she's really settled down,"

"It's never felt right, us not talking,"

"She thinks so too,"

Angela smiled.

"So, you brought Jordan?"

She nodded. Rickie grinned excitedly at her and they both giggled.

That night Jordan lay awake in bed. He could feel Angela's slow, even breaths against his side - he knew she was asleep. Reaching down into his bag, that sat beside the bed, he unzipped an inner pocket and took out the picture. Holding it up into a shaft of moonlight, he studied the blurry image of his unborn child. Just two days ago he had gone with Veronica for her first scan, and she had played the doting mother-to-be in front of the nurses, infuriating Jordan. Sitting there, as Veronica entertained the nurse with her fictional retelling of how they met, Jordan had come to the decision that he wanted no more to do with her, but as the image appeared on the screen he immediately felt guilty at ever considering walking away.

He slipped out of bed, careful not to disturb Angela, and headed downstairs to the kitchen.

Patty was sitting at the table cradling a mug of cocoa. She looked up as Jordan entered and he immediately felt trepidation at what he was about to tell her.

"Is everything okay Jordan?" Patty asked, in that familiar tone of understanding.

Jordan sank down into the chair opposite her and, after a moment's hesitation, he placed the picture in the centre of the table and turned away to study the fridge door.

"I assume from the look on your face that this isn't Angela's child,"

Without looking at her, he shook his head slowly.

Patty looked down again at the fuzzy image and then over at Jordan. He looked as though he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and his face was full of confusion, "you can see it's little arms and legs,"

Jordan turned back to her, "you can?"

Patty turned the picture around so Jordan could see and she pointed out the arms and legs.

"Oh yeah," he smiled despite himself, "the nurse pointed them out but afterwards I couldn't see where she meant,"

Patty watched as Jordan traced the shadowy outline with his finger.

"So who is she?"

"Just this girl. She only just found out when I met Angela,"

"And I take it Angela doesn't know,"

Jordan shook his head, "I've tried to tell her but it's got too big, the lie is too big," he rested his head in his hands, "I've blown it,"

"Well, I'm not going to disagree. It's quite a mess,"

Jordan closed his eyes for a moment and spoke as if he thought only he would hear "I never really thought about having kids before,"

"And this woman, she was your girlfriend?"

"She lived with me. She lives with me"

"Oh," Patty took a deep breath, "but you don't love her?"

"No!" Jordan replied as if the question had been absurd, " I love Angela,"

"Okay," Patty raised her hands as if to gesture for calm.

"I don't know how to make it right,"

"Well whatever this woman is to you, you have a duty to the child. As for Angela, you can't keep it a secret from her forever,"

"I've only just got her back,"

"She's stronger than you think,"

Jordan considered this. He looked over at Patty who was staring into her cocoa, "are you okay?"

Patty looked up and laughed "yes, I'm fine," the laugh lasted a little too long and even Jordan could tell it wasn't sincere. She spent a few moments more staring into the depths of the cocoa, "Graham has moved back to Three Rivers. Camille Cherski saw him at the mall,"

Jordan shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Confessing his own dilemmas was one thing, but having someone confide theirs to him was completely different.

"I haven't told Danielle," she looked up and to Jordan it seemed as though she was expecting him to comment.

"Oh," was all he could manage.

Patty smiled "it's okay Jordan. Now I'm going to bed, the last thing I want is bags under my eyes for this wedding tomorrow,. You should talk to Angela," as she passed him, Patty laid a comforting hand on Jordan's shoulder.

**Sorry I've been a while updating this time, busy busy busy. I hope you're enjoying it - it feels to me like it's dragging a bit now so I'm going to try and up the drama in the next couple of chapters xxx**


	12. Chapter 12

Angela was awake early but she lay watching Jordan sleep. She became so mesmerized by his face that when the alarm finally went off she jumped. Jordan stirred and she caressed his cheek as he opened his eyes.

"Morning," Angela smiled.

She received a groan in reply.

"We have to get up,"

Jordan groaned again and turned over. Angela ran her fingers up and down his toned back, feeling the muscles flex as her fingers passed over them. As her hand ran up and over his shoulder Jordan reached up and took hold of it, pulling it down toward his chest and so forcing Angela to move closer to him. His soft skin felt hot against hers as she settled against his back. He released her hand and she began rubbing all over his chest and down toward his abdomen. Jordan, still half way between sleep and waking, gasped as she took him into her hand and he immediately grew hard. Now fully awake, he turned his head slightly to look up into Angela's face.

"What's this for?" his breath caught as Angela began moving her hand.

She smiled as his eyes slowly shut from the pleasure.

"No reason,"

Angela sat up and Jordan, who had been leaning against her, rolled on to his back. He briefly opened his eyes, recovering his senses as Angela's hand temporarily left his cock, but couldn't help but close them again as her mouth now closed around it and her hand reached up to caress his nipple. He came shortly after, holding his arm against his mouth to try and prevent himself from crying out. Angela kissed her way up to his neck, where she lingered to place open mouthed kisses across his throat and up to his ear.

"Now we really have to get up," she whispered.

"Okay,"

Jordan carefully rolled her off him, stood up, and stretched. Angela rested her head back on the pillow and enjoyed the sight. She felt so much more relaxed being back in Three Rivers than she had in New York. Although her home held mixed emotions as far as she and Jordan were concerned, still it was familiar territory. Jordan headed for the door.

"Jordan,"

He turned and Angela grinned.

"Pants first,"

Jordan hesitated for a moment, still slightly hazy, "oh, right."

--

Breakfast felt strangely awkward to Angela. Her mom was in 'overly nice' mode, checking every few minutes that everything was okay with their cereal.

"Mom can you please just sit down?" Angela finally spoke up as her mom jumped up to fetch more orange juice for the third time.

Patty did sit down, but then there was silence. Angela had never been happier to see her sister. Danielle stormed into the kitchen struggling to hold a number of school books in her arms.

"Mom I'm going to miss the bus, can you give me a ride?" She turned and saw the three silent figures sitting at the kitchen table, "what's happened?"

Patty smiled "nothing, of course I'll give you a lift,"

Danielle turned to Angela, "Angela can I see you for a sec?"

Angela stood and followed Danielle through to the sitting room.

She spoke in a hushed voice, "don't tell mom I told you okay,"

"Alright," Angela replied slowly.

"I heard her and Camille talking on the porch; dad's moved back to Three Rivers,"

"What?"

"Don't tell her I know because she doesn't know that I know. I mean she thinks I don't know. But I do,"

Angela shook her head in confusion, "Dad's back?"

"Yes,"

"And mom hasn't said anything?"

"No,"

"Has she been acting weird or anything?"

"Just kinda happy, but she might be putting it on I mean-,"

"She does that," Angela nodded, "we should just wait until she says something,"

"Okay. So you're going to Rayanne's wedding?"

Angela nodded.

"I wanted to go but I can't cut school if I wanna get into college. I'm gonna be at the party tonight though,"

"Good," Angela smiled, impressed by her sister's attitude.

Patty called Danielle from the kitchen.

"I gotta go," she turned to leave but hesitated, "oh and can you ask Jordan to keep it down,"

"Danielle!" Angela frowned.

She grinned before dashing back through to the kitchen. Angela sat down.

"Hey," Jordan emerged from the kitchen. He sensed something was wrong and sat down next to her. "What's up?"

Angela waited for the back door to close, "Danielle says my dad's moved back,"

Jordan tried to imitate the appropriate expression he would have made if he were hearing that news for the first time, "oh, right,"

"No wonder mom's acting strange this morning. She's obviously crazy about it,"

"Yeah, yeah I bet she is." Jordan exhaled loudly.

"I guess we should get changed,"

They changed for the wedding and shortly after Rickie and his partner Nicholas arrived. Angela dashed downstairs to greet them.

"Thank god you're here, I'm having a shoe crisis and Jordan is being hopeless,"

"No shoe crisis is too great for us to solve," Nicholas stepped forward and hugged Angela. They had met twice in New York and had immediately hit it off. They each extended an arm out to include Rickie in the hug.

Jordan reached the bottom of the stairs.

Rickie laughed "show us the shoes,"

Jordan brought them over and held the two pairs out for inspection "I think they're both nice," he stated, trying to seem of some use.

Rickie and Nicholas shook their heads, "step back let me see your dress," Rickie instructed.

Angela did so and they both examined the prom-style floral dress and pointed to the red shoes on the right.

"Thanks guys," Angela smiled and took the shoes from Jordan, resting on him as she slipped them on, "oh! The wedding gift, Jordan can you-,"

"I'll get it," Nicholas jumped in, "I need to use the bathroom,"

"Thanks, bathroom's on the right. The gift should be in my bag, it's in our bedroom down the hall,"

Nicholas nodded and ran up the stairs. He found the bathroom, and after went to find Angela and Jordan's gift. He found Angela's room. There were two holdalls, one either side of the bed and he moved to the nearest one, unzipping it and looking inside. He couldn't see any gift but something else caught his eye. The corner of what looked like a Polaroid picture was sticking out of the inside pocket. Nicholas fought his curiosity but was defeated and he pulled the picture out a little further. Very quickly he realised what it was and pushed it back in, moving around to the other holdall and immediately finding the gift, wrapped in silver paper, inside. He paused then, feeling light-headed because he knew he had found out something he shouldn't have, then he made his way back downstairs.


	13. Chapter 13

The wedding was being held at a country hotel outside Pittsburgh. Patty drove them all there. She had kept in touch with Rayanne and knew more about Scott than any of them.

"He's a very nice young man, isn't he Rickie?"

"Yeah he's nice,"

"He works with computers," Patty continued, "I don't know exactly what he does with computers but-, well you get the idea,"

They pulled up to the hotel and all admired its elegant appearance.

"Works with computers huh?" Angela commented, impressed.

"I gotta work with computers," added Jordan.

Angela smiled and nuzzled his shoulder.

The inside was just as impressive, and decorated with beautiful flowers and lights. Jordan took hold of Angela's hand as they were shown to the room where the ceremony would be held. He felt closer to her than ever and decided that he would break the news about Veronica and the baby that night, sure now that she would be able to forgive him for keeping the truth from her.

They took their seats. The room was decorated with white voile and flowers, and a string quartet was preparing in the corner. Angela couldn't believe this was Rayanne Graff's wedding, there was nothing to hint that this could have anything to do with Rayanne. For a start no one was drunk yet.

Rickie drew Angela's attention to two men standing at the front of the room checking their watches.

"He's the one on the right,"

Angela looked over again at Scott James, the man who had managed to persuade Rayanne Graff to walk up the isle. She turned back to Rickie and raised her eyebrows in approval.

Jordan saw her reaction, "hey," he frowned in mock jealousy.

Angela smiled and quickly kissed him.

Sharon and Kyle arrived and sat in the row behind. Sharon leant forward, "Isn't this place amazing,"

"Yeah," Angela agreed, "apparently he works with computers,"

A young man in a suit crouched down in the isle next to Angela.

"Excuse me, are you Angela Chase?"

"Yes,"

"Would you mind just stepping outside for a minute?"

"What for?"

The man looked uncomfortable, "would you mind?"

Angela glanced back at Jordan who shrugged. She stood and followed the young man out of the room and down a short corridor. The young man stopped at a door and indicated that she should go inside.

The room was filled with books and there was a grand desk by the window. A figure was sitting at the desk looking out at the grounds. She turned as Angela closed the door behind her.

"Angela, thank God,"

"Rayanne. What are you-, "

Rayanne quickly stood and marched across the room in her familiar way, hugging Angela tightly when she reached her. "You came,"

"Of course I did,"

Rayanne pulled away and looked up at Angela with a hint of desperation, "I didn't know what else to do. I'm having a-," she searched the right word, " a moment,"

"You mean nerves?"

"Uh huh," she nodded vigorously.

Angela wasn't sure what she could say. These were practically the first words she and Rayanne had exchanged in years and now she was charged with the task of persuading her to take the most significant step of her life. "I saw your fiancé back there, he looks really nice. He's obviously gone to a lot of trouble,"

Rayanne continued to nod, "good keep going,"

"Keep going?"

"Keep saying the good things,"

Angela thought for a moment, "Rickie is really impressed with him and the positive effect that he's had on you. He obviously cares about you very much Rayanne, he's organised all of this for you,"

Rayanne was taking deep exaggerated breaths, and indicated that Angela should continue.

"And I mean being married would be great, right? To be committed to someone like that, someone who loves you as much as he clearly does," Angela began to think about Jordan and the words began to flow freely, "when you find someone you really care about, really love, you can't let anything get in the way because love like that is rare and precious. You can't let anything destroy it,"

Angela had gotten so carried away she hadn't noticed Rayanne staring at her. She pulled herself back to reality.

"So you're back with Jordan huh?"

Angela nodded.

"Yeah I thought so,"

"Do you feel better?"

"Yeah,"

Angela smiled; half with a sense of relief, half because she was genuinely glad to see her old friend again, "well I should get back,"

"Okay. You look nice,"

Angela smiled and reached out to touch the skirt of Rayanne's princess style dress. "You look beautiful,"

"Does it hurt to look at me?" Rayanne said with a half laugh.

Angela felt tears in her eyes, she nodded.

"Okay," Rayanne steadied her breathing.

Angela, still smiling, turned and made her way back to the main room.

The ceremony was beautiful. Angela was just about managing to keep herself from crying until she happened to glance across at Rickie and Nicholas and saw they were both in tears. Rayanne seemed to have forgotten all about her momentary pre-wedding nerves and she didn't stop smiling for the entire ceremony. Angela felt Jordan lay a hand on her knee as Rayanne and Scott read out their vows, she placed her hand on top of his and gently rubbed her thumb across his knuckles.

The hotel had erected a large marquee on the lawn for the reception. There was live music, a makeshift bar, and a dance floor, where most of the guests gathered after dinner. Rickie and Nicholas were dancing together. Nicholas glanced over at Angela and Jordan, who were sat at one of the tables laughing with Sharon and Sean.

"Guess what I found in Jordan and Angela's room,"

Rickie's eyebrow raised in curiosity, "what?"

"An ultrasound picture,"

"No,"

Nicholas nodded.

Rickie looked over at the table, "she hasn't said anything to me,"

"Well I know what I saw, and look she's not even drinking alcohol,"

Rickie gasped, "oh my God,"

Sean was entertaining the others with stories about his work colleagues. Jordan indicated to Angela's empty glass.

"Another?"

Angela nodded, "yes please,"

He lowered his voice, "you can have champagne if you want,"

"No, it's okay,"

Jordan gazed at her for a moment, knowing she had chosen not to drink the champagne because he couldn't. He smiled before heading over to the bar.

On the dance floor, Rickie noticed Jordan making his way over to the other side of the marquee. "Do you think I should ask Jordan?"

Nicholas shrugged but his eyes betrayed his curiosity.

"Or maybe I should ask Angela,"

"Well Jordan's over there now by himself,"

Rickie walked across the dance floor to the bar, where Jordan was waiting to be served.

"Hey Jordan,"

"Hey,"

"So how's life?" Rickie asked with an innocent smile.

Jordan frowned, slightly confused "it's okay,"

"You and Angela,"

There was a long pause, Jordan expected the sentence to continue but Rickie seemed to have finished, "yeah?"

"You seem really happy,"

"Well we are,"

The barman indicated to Jordan for his order, "an orange juice and a mineral water please,"

"Neither of you drinking then?"

Jordan shook his head, "she's really great about it, she knows how difficult it is,"

Rickie nodded but in reality was completely baffled, "what's difficult?"

"You know I had a drinking problem right? So I can't drink anymore,"

"Oh I didn't know that. So she's not drinking because you're not drinking,"

"Right," Jordan smiled, reminding himself of how lucky he was to have her.

"Oh that's really sweet. Only when I saw she wasn't drinking I thought maybe you two were expecting a happy event," Rickie laughed.

Jordan's entire body seemed to turn to stone right before Rickie's eyes, "why would you think that?"

Rickie felt an emptiness in the pit of his stomach, "so she's not pregnant then?"

Jordan turned and made eye contact with Rickie "no, she's not."


	14. Chapter 14

Rayanne had been surrounded by guests for most of the day so it wasn't until the evening that Angela was finally able to speak to her. She approached the table where Rayanne was sitting with her new husband.

"Hey,"

"Angelica," Rayanne indicated that Angela should sit down next to them, "have you met my husband?" she giggled.

Scott smiled "I've heard a lot about you,"

Angela smiled uneasily.

"I'm going to check on my brother, I think he's trying to chat up that strange cousin of yours,"

"Oh God not again,"

Scott excused himself, leaving Rayanne and Angela alone.

Rayanne watched him go and then turned to Angela "about before, you won't say anything will you?"

"Of course not,"

"I don't want you to think that I've rushed into anything. It's not that I didn't want to marry him, it was just a bit intense, you know"

Angela nodded.

"I wasn't surprised when Rickie told me you were bringing Jordan. I always knew you two would get back together - not that you ever really broke up in my opinion,"

"You don't think me running away to New York like an idiot constitutes a break up?"

"Nope,"

Angela smiled, she looked around the room and let out a sigh before turning back to her old friend "I'm sorry Rayanne,"

"For what?"

"For everything. For letting this silence between us go on too long,"

"Takes two to tango,"

Angela wasn't sure if Rayanne was being completely honest or just putting on a brave face. Thinking back, Angela couldn't help but feel disappointed in herself for allowing them to grow apart.

"So how did you two meet?"

"Your mom didn't tell you?"

Angela shook her head.

Rayanne took hold of Angela's hands "Oh my God it was so perfect. I was drunk and-," Rayanne paused to giggle at Angela's "what's new" face, "I know, I know. And this guy just comes out of nowhere, grabs my purse and pushes me against a wall, and I'm all like blacking out. And then, like Superman, Scott races after the guy and comes back with my purse and sits with me until the ambulance came. I mean it's like a movie right? After that we were pretty much inseparable,"

"Wow,"

It may have been a few years but Rayanne could still read Angela's face like a book.

"You know you shouldn't dwell on things all the time Angelica. So we haven't spoken in a few years, so what? Doesn't mean we're banned now from being friends. You shouldn't blame yourself, I could have called you. Maybe we just needed some time to grow up by ourselves,"

Angela felt comforted by Rayanne's logic but still felt a need to make amends, "maybe when you and Scott get back from your honeymoon you could come and stay with us in New York,"

"Us? So he's moved in then?"

"No, I'm going to ask him,"

"Well my husband and I would love to come stay with you,"

Rickie and Nicholas sat in awkward silence, both unknowingly staring at Jordan across the table. Danielle had arrived and had been recounting a story about a cheerleading accident for the last twenty minutes.

Jordan hated feeling as though he was under observation. He knew Rickie and Nicholas were watching him. Worse still, he suspected he knew why.

Angela returned to the table having spoken to Rayanne. She and Rickie exchanged knowing smiles, "Rayanne and Scott are leaving soon,"

"Oh, I should go and say good luck," Patty stood.

"I'll come with you mom," Danielle jumped up, knowing Patty had indulged in a little too much champagne.

Angela sensed an uneasy silence between the three people left with her at the table, she laughed "what?" She laughed again, "what?!" There was a hint of uneasiness in her voice, she saw in Rickie's face the look he always got when he was battling with a moral dilemma. Just at the moment her smile slipped Sharon arrived.

"Well I've had too much champagne," she concluded, as she plopped down in the chair next to Angela. Sean rested against the seatback behind her, "great day though right?"

They all nodded - unconvincingly.

Sharon noted the tension, "okaaaay, we're about to head off. Do you want us to take Danielle and your mom? I don't think she should really be driving?"

"Thanks," Angela nodded.

Sharon smiled and pulled Sean by the hand toward the marquee entrance.

Angela turned to Jordan, "Jordan do you think you could drive us home?"

The drive home was mostly silent. Angela tried to make conversation but the more she tried, the worse she felt when the talk failed to catch on.

When they arrived back at the Chase's they found Sharon and Sean talking to Danielle in the living room. Angela sank down into an armchair.

"Is mom upstairs?"

Sharon smiled, "yeah, she went to bed,"

Angela nodded.

"How about I make everyone some hot chocolate?" Sharon grinned.

"Yeah, I'll help," Angela followed her into the kitchen and closed the door.

"What is going on?" Sharon listened at the door for a few moments.

"I have no idea. They've been acting really strange - all of them," Angela shook her head, "I don't know,"

In the living room there was silence. Danielle, as ever, was the first to speak up.

"Okay, there is something going on here that I don't know about and seeing as we are in my house, I think I should know,"

Rickie took a deep breath, "Jordan could I speak to you outside for a minute?"

Danielle watched in semi-amazement as Jordan stood in silence and followed Rickie out on to the porch. She looked at Sean, "do you have any idea what's going on?"

Sean shrugged.

Rickie paced up and down the porch for at least a minute, but it was Jordan who spoke first.

"I know what you're going to say,"

Rickie looked up, "you do?"

Jordan nodded and bit his thumb nail.

Rickie took several deep, exasperated breaths.

"How did you know?" Jordan frowned.

"It was Nicholas, when he went up to get the gift before we left, he saw the scan in your bag,"

Jordan looked out from the porch at the street where he had met Angela so many times to drive her to school.

"So where does this leave Angela?"

"Nowhere," he shook his head quickly – that had come out wrong, "I mean it doesn't change anything. I love Angela, I always have. Veronica was just-,"

"Is that the mother?"

"She was just company for a while. I was lonely,"

Rickie thought for a moment he saw tears well in Jordan's eyes.

"Why did you bring the picture? Did you want her to find it?"

Jordan shook his head, "I don't know. I guess I-," he sighed, "Veronica means nothing to me. She was lost, I was lost - it made sense at the time. I love Angela and it kills me how I always manage to hurt her. But-," he searched frantically for the words, "I was never close to my dad. I always thought if I ever had a kid it'd be different. I'd be different. I'd be better. Veronica and me, we have no future but that doesn't mean I don't have a responsibility,"

Rickie's heart ached. It ached for Jordan and Angela, and how nothing was ever simple for them. It ached for memories of the past, when everything now seemed to have been so much easier.

"Jordan you have to tell her,"

"I will, just not-,"

"Tell her what?"

Angela's voice seemed to emanate from the farthest reaches of Jordan's mind, and for a moment he thought he might have imagined it. But he turned, and she was there.

"Tell me what?"

"Nothing," Denial seemed to always be Jordan's natural reaction, but he didn't want to have to tell her like this, this was completely wrong.

Nicholas and Sean stepped out on to the porch, closely followed by Sharon who was trying to prevent Danielle from following them.

"Jordan,"

He couldn't bare to look into her eyes, he wanted to scream, he wanted to run.

"Just tell her," Nicholas piped up.

"Be quiet," Rickie silenced him.

"Maybe we should leave Angela and Jordan alone," Sharon attempted to calm the situation.

Danielle shook her head and moved up to stand beside her sister, "I'm not going anywhere, I want to hear what he has to say,"

Nicholas moved toward Jordan and held out what looked like a square of white card. Rickie momentarily shut his eyes, knowing what it was and knowing what was about to happen.

Danielle frowned, "what's that? What did he just give him?"

Sharon caught sight of the item passed between them. "Right, that's it. Everyone inside - now!"

Angela was momentarily shaken out of her thoughts by Sharon's tone, surprised at her authority and even proud at her willingness to defend her oldest friend's dignity.

Sean and Nicholas did as they were told. Danielle took a little more persuasion and Rickie was the most unwilling to leave. He looked at Jordan, the pain in the other man's blue eyes nearly brought him to tears. Eventually he walked slowly back into the house.

Jordan looked down at the picture in his hand and then up at Angela.

"Just tell me,"

"I lied,"

"How?"

"Veronica,"

"What about her?"

Jordan searched for the words but, as ever, they eluded him. So he simply handed Angela the picture.

**Hope everyone had a happy christmas! xx**


	15. Chapter 15

Angela dashed out of her house and down the steps. Jordan was waiting, leaning against Red like always. She had found herself, more and more, looking forward to leaving each day to go to school since her parents' arguments tended to kick off around breakfast. She was certain her father would leave soon, it was just a matter of time.

Angela quickly kissed Jordan before jumping into the car.

"We are going to be so late," the statement began in all seriousness but descended into giggles toward the end as Jordan leant across to steal another kiss.

"Sorry, my dad was being a pain in the ass,"

Jordan retreated back into his own seat and bit his thumb nail.

"Oh God I know that feeling. My parents are driving me crazy. Are you okay?"

He nodded, but Angela could tell he was struggling to formulate what he was going to say next.

"I've been thinking about what you said … about staying in Pittsburgh and not going to Colombia,"

"It's my decision,"

"But maybe I could come with you - to New York. I mean they have cars there right? That I could, like, fix - for money,"

Angela looked at him intently.

"You should go to Colombia, you should do what you want,"

"And you would do that? Come with me?"

"Well yeah. I would do anything, you know, for you,"

Angela could feel the tears sting her eyes.

--

Angela forced herself to look back down at the picture again, and then up at Jordan.

"I don't get it. You're still with Veronica? Is that what you're trying to tell me? You two are still together and you're having a baby? Is that what this is about?"

Jordan shook his head.

"But she is having your child?"

"Yeah,"

"And I'm guessing by Rickie and Nicholas' reactions that I'm the last to know,"

"I never meant for it be like that, I swear,"

A gust of wind blew Angela's hair into disarray and as she attempted to bring it back under control, tucking it behind her ears, a tear finally fell on to her cheek. Jordan moved toward her but she pulled back.

"Don't touch me,"

Jordan frowned, "I was going to tell you,"

"When?! How long have you known?"

"She came back just after you left my apartment the first time, she told me then,"

"All that time you've kept it from me, you've lied to me," the realisation set in, "she hasn't moved out has she? All those times I asked if we should go back to your apartment and you said it was easier to go to ours, it was because she might have been there,"

"Well what was I supposed to do? I couldn't kick her out, she's pregnant," Jordan began pacing up and down the porch.

Angela lowered her voice to a shocked whisper "have you been sleeping with her? Jordan? Have you been fucking her, fucking us both?" the word sounded strange as she spoke it, Angela very rarely swore but she felt the situation demanded it.

Jordan shook his head, "no. I swear,"

She scoffed, "you expect me to believe that?!"

Jordan could feel the frustration building inside him but it came out in a sentence he knew he shouldn't have said as soon as he began it, "well if you hadn't left me, this would never have happened,"

Angela's jaw dropped, "what?!"

Jordan was struck dumb by the look on her face.

"Just leave me alone Jordan,"

"I didn't mean that,"

"Just go away,"

She might as well have hit him, the words hurt just as much as a fist in the face. He turned slowly and retreated inside.

Angela stepped down from the porch and into the street. She still had the picture in her hands and she looked down at it again, tracing it with her finger.

"Hey Chase,"

For a moment Angela thought she might have accidentally travelled back in time. She looked up.

"Brian?"

Brian Krakow was standing there with a garbage bag.

"What are you doing here?"

"I live here," he said with a touch of sarcasm.

"No you don't. You live in Chicago."

"Well I'm visiting. I don't have to ask your permission,"

Angela frowned. She was preconditioned to assume Brian Krakow would be the last person in the world she would ever want to see, but at this moment she found herself thinking differently.

"What have you got there?" he indicated to the picture in Angela's hand.

She instinctively drew it behind her back. "I didn't see you at the wedding,"

"I didn't go," he hesitated, "I hate weddings,"

Angela let out a long sigh and stared up at him.

"Do you need to talk or something?"

How did he do that? How did he read her mind? Angela crossed the street and followed Brian to the car parked in his driveway, they both climbed into the backseat.

"So let me guess, is it Jordan Catalano?"

Angela looked up at him, puzzled as to how he could possibly know that.

"I saw him on your porch,"

Angela nodded, "pretty much," she looked out at Brian's house, she could see inside through one of the windows - it looked exactly the same. Jeez even her mom had managed to redecorate.

"You're mad at him for something?"

Angela held up the picture for Brian to take without looking back at him.

Brian studied the scan carefully and sensed he may be out of his depth, "Oh," he tried to sound perky, "congratulations,"

"What?!" Angela turned quickly to face him, "it's not mine!"

"Oh," it suddenly hit Brian "oh!"

At the Chase's Patty had woken from her nap with a headache. She made her way downstairs with the intention of getting a drink - of water this time. The house was strangely empty. She found a note taped to the kitchen door; _Patty, we've taken Danielle out for pizza, back later. Sharon_. Patty pulled it off, slightly confused, and pushed the door open. She was surprised to find Jordan sitting at the table in semi-gloom.

"Jordan? What are doing in here, they've all gone out for pizza?"

He didn't reply. Patty moved closer to the table and thought she heard Jordan's breath catch as if he had been crying. He seemed embarrassed about it and quickly wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

"Yeah I saw the note,"

Patty sat down next to him.

"Did you tell Angela?"

"Yeah, but it all went wrong,"

"She took it badly?"

Jordan pulled at the cuff of his jacket, "I couldn't make her understand. I couldn't explain it properly,"

"Where is she now?"

"Outside, she told me to leave her alone,"

"Well it's to be expected I suppose,"

Jordan nodded, resigned to his fate.

"I should think she's scared. It's always scared her how much she really cared about you. I know that's why she left,"

"Yeah?"

"The fear of losing what you had to something bigger than the both of you. She'll come around, she just needs time to adjust,"

Brian frowned, struggling to digest Angela's words.

"So Jordan is having a child with another woman - who isn't you,"

"Yes,"

"But he doesn't love her, he says he loves you,"

"Yes,"

"Only he didn't tell you about the baby because he was afraid he would loose you,"

"So he says, yes,"

"Because of course you left him before," Brian trod carefully, "didn't you,"

Angela shut her eyes and sighed, "yes,"

Brian concluded "so I guess it's whether you can handle it,"

Angela felt the tears come again.

Brian took out his handkerchief and held it out to her, "it's clean,"

"Thanks," she took it and wiped her eyes.

"You can keep it," Brian felt it was least he could do.

"Brian what are you really doing here?"

He looked uncomfortable and embarrassed, "I had to leave Chicago,"

"Why?"

"I just did okay,"

"Okay,"

Angela wiped her eyes again and stared out of the window.

"My marriage broke up,"

"You got married? You?"

"Yeah okay it's not that incredible,"

"To who?"

"Just this girl. We were only married for three months anyway so it's not like it even matters,"

"I'm sorry,"

"What are you sorry about?" Brian said angrily, "it's nothing to do with you,"

"I just meant-, I'm just sorry it didn't last,"

They sat in silence.

"So are you gonna go back then?"

Angela shrugged, "I don't know,"

"You should,"

She turned slowly to face him, surprised by his insistance.

"I mean you kinda owe it to him,"

"Brian! How dare you?!"

"What?"

"That is none of your business,"

"Well it is seeing as I kinda know how he felt - he wasn't the only one you left without a word,"


	16. Chapter 16

As Angela crossed back to the house she saw Jordan coming out of the front door. She hesitated in the middle of the street and turned back to see Brian climbing out of the car, he shot her a glance before disappearing inside the house.

"Angela,"

She turned back as Jordan approached. He held out a hand, "I want to show you something,"

She didn't take his hand but she followed him back toward the house, and waited at the garage while he opened the door. The garage was in complete darkness and it took a while for Jordan to find the light switch in the unfamiliar space. When he did, and the room was illuminated, Angela could finally see what was stored inside.

"Is this supposed to solve everything?"

He frowned, "no,"

He tried to take her by the hand but she clenched her fingers into a fist, so he took hold of her wrist and led her inside.

Jordan unlocked the door of the red Plymouth, "get in,"

"Why?"

"I don't know," he shrugged.

Angela rolled her eyes and got in, Jordan shut the door. She was immediately overwhelmed by the memories; the feel of the seats, the dash, the rear view mirror. Jordan climbed into the driver's seat.

"Let's hope your mom's kept her running,"

He tried the engine - it started.

"Wait," Angela raised a hand to stop Jordan from starting the car, "can't we just sit here,"

"I was gonna take us somewhere nice,"

"Like where? The parking lot at Big Guy Burger?"

"No," Jordan sulked. He turned off the engine. "Where have you been anyway?"

"I was talking to Brian,"

"What for?"

"I don't know, maybe because he tells the truth,"

Jordan winced at the remark, "have you still got the picture?"

Angela took it out of her pocket and held it out for him. She had folded it in half and she noted a look of hurt in Jordan's face as he unfolded it and tried to push out the crease that was left.

"So are we over?" he finished flattening out the crease and looked up at her.

Angela looked out of the car at the shelves stacked with paints, and tools that belonged to her father, "it just never works out for us does it?"

Jordan felt a lump rise in his throat, "it could,"

There was a pause, the longest of Jordan's life - or so it felt.

"I hate you for lying Jordan," she turned to face him, "but I understand why you did,"

He allowed out the breath that he'd been holding.

"It's not going to be easy, it's not going to be the same as before. This is bigger than just us now," she glanced down at the picture in his lap, "but I'm willing to try,"

Jordan went to move toward her but Angela stopped him, "one step at a time,"

He retreated to his seat but couldn't stop himself from smiling a little. He picked up the scan picture.

"Can you make it out?"

He shook his head, "your mom showed me but I lost it again,"

Angela leant toward him and took hold of his free hand, she led his finger around the outline of the baby, stealing looks at Jordan's face as she did so. When she finished, Jordan raised her hand up and kissed it lightly, pleasantly surprised that she allowed him to do so.

"You're going to be a father,"

Jordan nodded, trying to strike a balance between looking pleased, but not so pleased that he would make Angela feel uncomfortable.

"You can be happy you know, I know you are,"

"I just-, I want to do right by him or her. Their mom's not up to much," he scoffed at the thought of Veronica trying to take care of a baby.

"She'll expect money from you,"

"I know, I can manage,"

"I can help,"

Jordan shook his head, "I can do it,"

"I know. I want to help,"

He sensed Angela was afraid of being shut out, "okay,"

Angela shifted along the seat to be nearer to Jordan, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders to close the gap further. They sat there in silence until they both fell asleep.

When Angela awoke she found herself alone. She stretched as much as she could within the confines of the car before getting out. She found the front door open. Inside Sharon and Sean were sitting on the couch. Sharon smiled when she saw Angela.

"Morning sleepy head,"

Angela half-smiled, "have you seen Jordan?"

"He's in the kitchen,"

As Angela passed the couch Sharon took her hand, "I'm glad you two worked it out, he's a good guy," she accompanied her words with a warm smile, which Angela returned before disappearing into the kitchen.

Jordan and Patty looked up as Angela entered.

"Hey, I made you two a pie to take back,"

Angela smiled, "thanks mom," she moved toward Jordan, "I was thinking. We have a parking space that Sharon and I never use. If you wanted you could store Red there. At least it would be nearer than here,"

Jordan nodded, he decided it was too much to hope that Angela would invite him to move in too, "thanks,"

Patty smiled to herself.

"I'll go get the bags,"

Jordan left the room, Angela and Patty regarded one another for a moment.

"Mom," she considered what she was about to say, "Danielle knows that dad's back,"

Patty's face dropped, "she does?" she tutted, "of course she does,"

Angela nodded, "what are you gonna do?"

"If Danielle wants to see him, that has to be up to her,"

"And you?"

"Angela, as much as I love your father, any man who walks out on his family like he did," she shook her head, "I don't ever want to see him again," she took hold of Angela's hands "but a man who faces his responsibilities, no matter how tough, is a man worth holding on to,"

"I know,"

"Look after him. This woman sounds a bit unpredictable. He's had some tough times,"

"You helped him didn't you? He told me,"

"I did what I could,"

"Tell me,"

"I don't think he'd want you to-," Patty sighed, "I found him one night on our porch, passed out from drink and all beaten up. He'd fought with his father over some money. His father came off worse, I found him later in the hospital with a broken arm and a cracked rib. So I patched Jordan up and sent him on his way. A few days later he came back, told me his father had discharged himself and upped and left. He'd sold the house to some low life friends who wouldn't even let Jordan in to collect a few bits and pieces. I let him stay here for a while,"

Angela found herself crying at the thought of Jordan going through that.

"He needs you Angela," Patty looked into Angela's tear-streaked face.

The door opened and they both turned, it was Sharon.

"Jordan says you're taking his car so Sean's going to drive the hire car. Are you okay?"

Angela smiled, realising she was referring to her tears, "yeah I'm fine,"

"Oh and Rickie's here to say goodbye,"

Angela smiled at Patty.

"Don't forget the pie,"

The driveway was a hive of activity, with both cars parked up with all their doors open as Jordan and Sean loaded the bags inside.

Angela stepped out and immediately smiled at Rickie, who approached her cautiously.

"So everything is okay?"

"Yes, more than okay,"

"I'm sorry. I did the wrong thing, I shouldn't have stuck my nose in,"

Angela shook her head, "it doesn't matter,"

"Nicholas and I are gonna be in New York next month,"

"I'll see you then,"

They hugged. Over Rickie's shoulder Angela could see Brian standing by the car in his driveway.

"Back in a sec,"

She crossed the street.

Brian thought about quickly retreating to the house, but it was too late she was already across the street.

"So you're leaving?"

Angela glanced back at the comings and goings outside her house.

"Yeah," she glanced back once more, "Brian," she touched his arm affectionately, "you are truly the best person I have ever known,"

Brian was slightly startled by her words.

She continued "I've always known it,"

She smiled at him. Brian managed to smile back, though he cursed himself for being too shy to say anything in return. He watched her turn and run back; he'd watched her run back to Jordan Catalano more times than he cared to remember. But something about her words comforted him. In spite of everything, all that time, she had seen him, she really saw him, and that was enough. He felt a weight lift from his shoulders and he took a deep breath. He was actually over Angela Chase.


	17. Chapter 17

It was late when they arrived back in New York. Sharon and Sean said goodnight and went straight to bed but Angela and Jordan sat in the kitchen nursing mugs of hot chocolate. It seemed to Angela that Jordan wore a contended smile; he seemed relaxed in a way that she had not seen in all the time since they had met in the city. She still harboured questions. What was he going to do about Veronica? Most of all she worried how he would react if Veronica were to leave, taking the baby with her.

"You're frowning,"

Angela was raised from her thoughts by Jordan's words. She looked up at him and smiled a slightly uneasy smile.

"If you want me to sleep on the couch I will,"

She shook her head, "it's not that,"

"Then what?"

She stared down at the table intensely, trying to piece together her worries in order to communicate them to Jordan, "what sort of person is Veronica?"

Jordan was puzzled by the question, "what sort of person?"

"Would you say she was," Angela recalled her mother's words, "unpredictable?"

"No, I'd say she was predictable. Why?"

"I'm worried. I'm worried about what she's going to do when you tell her about us,"

"What do you mean, what she's going to do?"

Her frown deepened "I just don't want to see you get hurt,"

"Why would I?"

Angela grew tired of being subtle, "oh Jordan come on! What will you do if she leaves? What if she packs up and runs away and you don't ever get to see the baby?"

"She won't," Angela's frustration was reflected in Jordan's reply.

Angela spoke the next words slowly and deliberately, "how do you know?"

Jordan pieced it all together during the pause that followed, "so what am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know,"

"Well why did you bring it up then?"

"Because it was on my mind and I couldn't help it,"

The look of contentment had fallen from Jordan's face. He clearly hadn't considered this further complication. He seemed to be reaching for answers in his mind and finding none.

Angela hated seeing Jordan so despondent and confused, but she could offer no answers to her own question.

"I'm going to bed,"

Angela left him at the table.

Once in bed she shed a few tears. She felt guilty because they were not for Jordan but for herself. The depth of emotion Jordan showed toward the unborn child hurt her more than she was willing to tell and more than she had admitted to herself until that moment. As a teenager with Jordan she had dreamt of having his children. Now this woman she had never met was going to beat her to it. She wrapped the cover around her and tried to sleep.

After an indeterminate period of time she felt the mattress dip beside her and an arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her back against a warm body. She could feel Jordan's breath against her ear.

"It'll be okay. Nothing is going to come between us, I promise,"

Angela turned to face him before nestling into the crook of his neck and wrapping her arm around his body.

The next morning Jordan made his way across town to his apartment. As he pushed open the door he was met by a pile of empty pizza boxes, a half empty ice cream tub with the remnants of its contents melted at the bottom, take away trays and an empty wine bottle. Jordan assessed the mess in disgust. He had always been tidy, well as tidy as was necessary.

He pushed open the door to the bedroom and Veronica stirred as light poured in.

"Jordan?"

She grinned and got off the bed to greet him, wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning up for a kiss. Jordan allowed her to kiss him. She pulled away when he didn't respond.

"What's the matter?" she smiled, "did they overwork you?"

Jordan had told Veronica he was working away a few nights at a conference in Boston.

She walked out into the living room, "sorry about the mess," she let out a little giggle, "you know what I'm like when I'm left on my own." She turned and took hold of Jordan's jacket, pulling him toward her and running a finger down his cheek, "I've missed you,"

"How's the baby?"

Veronica raised an eyebrow, "still there," she pushed herself against his chest with more than hint of melodrama, "Jordan you won't leave me will you, when I get fat?"

Jordan pulled her away from him and held her at arms length, "listen, there's gonna be some changes,"

"What kind of changes?"

"I'm not going to be living here anymore, with you,"

Veronica's face changed from that of adoration to one of suspicion, "why not?"

"I've met someone else, I mean someone I knew before,"

"Angela?" Veronica spat out her name.

Jordan looked down at the floor.

"You say her name in your sleep," her voice was shaky with anger.

"I'm sorry," he felt it more than he had anticipated, "you can stay in the apartment, I'll keep up the rent as best I can,"

"I don't want the apartment Jordan,"

"Come on, it was never really going anywhere,"

Tears sprang into Veronica's eyes and she pressed her hand against her chest as she spoke to demonstrate her sincerity, "it was to me,"

"I know where you really went those nights you told me you were staying at a friend's,"

Veronica seemed genuinely surprised that Jordan had worked it out, "well maybe if you'd paid more attention to me,"

Jordan shook his head; he knew this conversation was going nowhere.

"And what about this?" she pointed to her tummy.

The scan image flashed through Jordan's mind. The child had become real to him, as real as if he had actually held it in his arms, "I told you I'd give you whatever you needed,"

"I need you," she frowned and pouted like an eight-year-old girl who's just been denied some candy.

"I'll come by tomorrow, you're working the evening right?"

"Don't bother,"

Jordan, who had begun to turn toward the door, turned back.

"If I can't have you completely then I don't want you at all," she suddenly burst into tears and reached out to Jordan, clinging to the sleeves of his jacket, "please Jordan don't leave me,"

It was a good performance, but a performance nonetheless.

"It's over Veronica. I'll see you tomorrow,"

"Don't count on it,"

Jordan could only hope that she would be there when he visited the next day. He knew any attempt to enter into a proper discussion there and then was pointless, she was in no mood for sensible negotiation and he had a shift to work at the hotel.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Angela felt tense back at work. At her desk she felt exposed, as though the entire office was watching her. She had gotten used to being ignored, but now it seemed as though – for some reason – she was the centre of attention. It was driving her crazy.

At lunch she found herself in the lift with one of the other women from her office. An elderly man got in the lift with them but Angela couldn't help it, she had to know. So she turned to the woman, "what is it?"

"Excuse me?"

Angela took a deep breath, "you have been staring at me all morning. What exactly are you looking at?"

The woman raised her eyebrows, "well I'm not sure. I used to think you were a kinda nice girl,"

Angela shook her head in confusion "what?"

The lift stopped and the elderly man got out.

"But that was before,"

"Okay, before what?"

"Before you slept with the boss,"

Angela's jaw nearly hit the floor, "I did not,"

"Well that's what they're all saying,"

"Who?"

The woman paused for effect and then leant toward Angela and whispered, "everybody,"

Angela leant against the wall of the lift while her words sank in. The lift stopped at the ground floor and the woman got out. Angela didn't move. She considered the irony for a moment; how foolish we are to assume life after high school would really be all that different. Here she was, years later, denying foolish rumours. She pressed the button to return to the office.

--

The new supervisor, Marcus, was throwing his weight around. Jordan watched as he gave another of the waiters a hard time over a mix up with the orders.

"I don't know, are you doing this on purpose or are you just plain stupid?"

The young waiter shook his head, "it was the kitchen, they shouted the wrong number,"

"That's right, blame the kitchen. What about the last time and the time before that?"

"Hey," Jordan approached them, "why don't you ease up on him a bit, he's new,"

The supervisor grinned, "Catalano," he moved toward him with an arrogant swagger, "shouldn't you be worrying about keeping your own job instead of interfering where you're not needed?"

Jordan leaned toward him but the supervisor didn't flinch.

"Leave it Catalano,"

The bell rang at the pass and Jordan reluctantly stood down.

--

Angela knocked loudly on the door to Will's office.

"Yes,"

She opened the door and Will smiled as soon as he saw her.

"Hey, how was your trip?"

Angela made no response.

Will looked slightly bemused at her presence, "do you want to take a seat?"

"No, this won't take long,"

"Oh?"

Angela considered her next words carefully but in the end she just blurted it out, "what have you been telling everyone about us?"

Will looked uncomfortable for a moment, he straightened some papers on his desk and dropped a pen into the metal basket causing a clanging noise. "Nothing," he said finally.

Angela tilted her head to one side and raised her eyebrows, indicating she expected a better explanation.

"I haven't told them anything,"

"Then why do they all think we slept together?" her words sank to a whisper.

"Do they?"

Angela nodded.

"Ah,"

"Ah? That's it? I'm like the scarlet woman now,"

Will looked genuinely pained, "I'm sorry,"

"What exactly have you been saying?"

"I just-," Will picked up the stack of papers and tapped them on the desk.

"You're gonna have to tell everyone that it's not true,"

His gaze was still fixed on the papers, "fine." His tone was cold, like the night he had tried to drag her into the cab.

Angela nodded, "okay," she went to leave, "and I had a great time since you asked. I had a really great time with my boyfriend. You know, the guy from the hotel. He kept his job, no thanks to you,"

Satisfied, she left.

On her way back to the lift she noticed another woman was watching her. Angela held her gaze for a moment, noting that this was different from the women who had been silently scolding her for sleeping with the boss. Angela drew herself away and pressed for the lift, but she could still feel the eyes on her.

That evening she arrived home to find Jordan asleep on the couch and Sharon creeping around the kitchen trying to cook her dinner without waking him. Angela couldn't help but laugh as she tried her best to take out cutlery from the drawer without making too much noise.

"He came home and crashed out," she whispered.

Angela looked back into the living room and smiled.

"How was work?"

Angela frowned, "weird,"

"Weird?"

Angela considered explaining but scoffed when she realised she didn't really understand it herself, "I wouldn't even know how to start – too weird,"

Sharon smiled, "I think I'll eat this in my room,"

Angela walked back out and knelt down beside the couch. Jordan looked adorable, his hand was resting on the cushion in front of his face and his fingers were twitching. Angela's heart swelled. He let out a long sigh and his eyes opened. A smile slowly spread across his face and he reached out to touch Angela's face. She took hold of his hand and kissed it.

He frowned a little and a look of concern crossed Angela's face. She held his hand to her chest and with her free hand brushed a strand of hair from his face.

"I don't know what she's going to do," he sighed, "I'm so stupid. How could I have thought it would work out perfectly?"

Angela smiled, "because you're a good person and you see good in other people,"

"No. I knew she was bad and I saw myself in her,"

Angela was taken aback by his words, "that's not true," she brought her face close to his, "that's not true," she repeated.

"I said I'd go back tomorrow. I don't know if she'll even be there,"

He sat up and Angela moved on to the couch next to him. He glanced over to the desk.

"I checked on your computer. I got no rights, if she doesn't want me to-, I can't do anything,"

"I should never have put the thought in your head. Whatever she might be, I'm sure Veronica isn't heartless,"

He rubbed his eyes.

"You tired?"

She placed a hand on his arm.

"It's this new supervisor, he's been pissing me off all day,"

Angela was reminded of her anger at Will for almost loosing Jordan his job "you'll have that job back in no time,"

"I don't think so,"

Angela wrapped an arm around Jordan's shoulders and drew him against her.

"You never know," she whispered.

When they lay entwined on the couch Angela pulled the blanket, which lay folded over the back, down to cover them. In no time Jordan was asleep.

--

Veronica was watching television when Jordan arrived. He was surprised to find her awake since it was still early.

"There's coffee in the kitchen,"

The apartment had been cleaned. The pizza boxes were gone and Jordan could see through into the bedroom where the bed had been made and Veronica's clothes were no longer strewn across the floor.

"Thanks but I gotta get to work,"

"Marcus told me you and him had a bit of a thing yesterday,"

"How can you even talk to that dumb-ass?"

Veronica smiled, "gotta keep him on side. I'm gonna need the job when I've got this one to look after,"

Jordan was more than a little puzzled in this sudden turn around in Veronica's attitude. The flat, the fact she wasn't shouting at him already – something had to be wrong somewhere.

At last she turned to look at him, "I'm not going to fight with you Jordan. I know I wasn't always the best girlfriend. I know I have some growing up to do,"

It never failed to shock Jordan how much of an influence she could have upon him. He had shared some of the most difficult years of his life with her and that meant something, although he couldn't quite fathom out exactly what, "I guess I could have done better by you,"

Veronica stood and walked up close to him. She took hold of his hand and pressed it against her tummy. She watched as Jordan closed his eyes, almost reverently. "I would never keep him from you,"

Jordan opened his eyes "him?"

Veronica bit her lip "I can tell,"

"I'll give you everything you need,"

He glanced down at his hand on her tummy once more before drawing himself away and leaving the apartment, unsure of what exactly had just taken place. Was it even possible that Veronica could have changed so much in the space of one day?

**I agree this could have finished a couple of chapters ago, and I thought about leaving it there, but I felt there were a couple of ends that needed to be tied up so just a couple more chapters to finish off (plus I've loved writing this and really don't want it to end hehe!) **

**Thank you so much for reviewing xx **


	19. Chapter 19

When he arrived at work Jordan's head was still spinning from his talk with Veronica. He had expected a row, especially after her reaction the previous day, but she had been calm. Weirdly calm. As he grabbed a quick coffee in the staff room he found himself swinging from one emotion to the other. Part of him wanted to jump around the place and enjoy, at last, the feeling of having everything settled. But there was a nagging doubt, small but not small enough to ignore. Jordan Catalano never got everything he wanted.

He shook the thought away and concentrated on the plans he had been formulating in his head, plans that he could now finally entertain with some hope of having them play out as he had dreamt.

As he made his way to the kitchen he could see Marcus standing at the pass.

"Catalano,"

Jordan stopped. Marcus regarded him with a sly smile.

"I've got a room service order for 318, can you take it up?" he indicated to a tray of sandwiches and cake.

"What's up with room service?"

"Busy," he said simply.

Jordan counted backward in his head from ten in an attempt to calm himself. If he was going to support his baby, he needed to keep his job. In order to keep his job he needed to refrain from throwing this douche bag across his own kitchen. Jordan picked up the tray and reluctantly turned away.

--

Angela fidgeted at her desk under the watchful eyes of the office gossips. She glanced over in the direction of Will's office, it was clear he hadn't put her accusers straight yet. She had packed sandwiches for lunch; she didn't want to risk getting stuck in the lift with any of the other women again.

When the office was quiet Angela could finally relax. She thought about Jordan. Part of her still found it hard to accept that she no longer had him all to herself but she had found his loyalty to his unborn child so endearing that she couldn't hold it against him.

She hadn't realised how far off into her thoughts she had gone until a voice brought her back into the office.

"Angela Chase?"

The voice belonged to the woman she had noticed looking at her the day before as she left Will's office. She was a pretty woman, older than Angela, but more fragile looking.

"Yes,"

"I'm sorry, I just-," her gaze darted across the room to Will's office and back again, "can we go and talk somewhere?"

She took hold of Angela's arm and guided her across the office to the women's bathroom. Despite there now being a wall between them and the main office, the woman kept her voice low.

"I know we've never spoken before but it's just I saw you yesterday,"

Angela nodded, "I saw you,"

"You were in his office,"

"That's right. But you shouldn't believe what they're saying, we never-,"

The woman nodded vigorously, "I know," her eyes were wide and she moved closer to Angela, "but has he ever … tried?"

Angela frowned, "tried?"

The woman watched her face expectantly. Angela deciphered the words and eventually nodded the affirmative, "a few weeks ago, we went for dinner and he propositioned me,"

All the time the woman was nodding as if it was a story she had heard twenty times before.

"When I told him I didn't want to he tried to drag me into a cab," Angela took a deep breath, "I thought he was going to-,"

"He would have," the woman completed the sentence quickly, knowingly.

Angela watched as tears sprang into the woman's hazel eyes, "I couldn't tell anyone. He said no one would believe me and I'd lose my job. I can't lose my job; I'm a single mother of four children. Of course no one would believe me if I told them," she laughed, "they all dote on him because he's so-," her face dissolved into a sobbing mess.

"Charming," Angela completed the sentence. She placed a comforting hand on the woman's arm.

"If I reported him now, would you tell them about what he tried to do to you?"

"I'll tell them,"

The woman calmed her breathing, "how did you stop him?"

"Someone else stopped him,"

"You were lucky,"

Angela took a tissue out of her bag and gave it to the woman, "what's your name?"

"Debbie," she smiled as she dabbed her eyes with the tissue.

"It's okay Debbie," Angela said soothingly.

--

Jordan stood in the service lift fuming at Marcus, angry that he could never formulate a damning verbal comeback that would strike that bastard down and he'd never have to deal with his arrogant smirks again. A matter of weeks ago Jordan was _his_ boss, he wasn't so arrogant then. At the third floor Jordan knocked on the door of room 318. He was kept waiting for some time before the door opened.

"Oooh, cake!" Veronica stood in the doorway, "you'd better come in," she moved aside to allow a perplexed Jordan in.

"What are you doing here?"

He placed the tray down on the table as Veronica pushed the door shut.

"I'm moving on Jordan."

She lay provocatively on the bed and took a bite out of one of the cakes.

"I don't unders-,"

Jordan was cut short by the fist to the face that sent him staggering backwards. An arm wrapped around his neck and when he tried to free himself another restrained his hands behind his back. The first attacker moved toward him. Jordan caught his breath and braced himself as a fist made contact with his chest but barely had a moment to recover before the next hit forced out a guttural cry. He lost count after that. As he bent forward in pain the grip on his hand loosened and he managed to strike out at one of his attackers, coming into contact with the bridge of his nose. The man cried out and covered his now bleeding nose before getting his revenge with a knee to Jordan's jaw, which sent him toppling to the ground and then a boot to his gut causing him to writhe in pain.

Veronica knelt down next to him, she tutted, "Jordan, what were you thinking? You silly, silly man,"

It took all of Jordan's determination to speak through the pain in his chest, "you said-,"

"You believed me?" she let out a short laugh, "Jordan, you were the fucking love of my life," she stroked his cheek and Jordan grimaced at her touch.

"Then why this?"

"You pissed me off," she said simply, "so I had to call in my friends," with that, she slapped him across the face.

He heard the door open and struggled to sit up to see who it was. Marcus. Veronica moved toward him. Jordan laughed even though it hurt like hell.

"Hey Catalano,"

Jordan shook his head, he should have guessed "obviously," he said under his breath.

Marcus feigned concern "you don't look too good Catalano, maybe you should take some time off?"

"You're an asshole Marcus,"

Marcus leant down and spoke into Jordan's face, "maybe, but I'm also the daddy," he grinned.

Jordan felt sick. It was probably more to do with the beating he had taken, but the idea that he might have been drawn into such an evil lie wasn't helping.

As Marcus went to turn away from him Jordan made sure he got the last word, "don't be so sure,"

Marcus' smile slipped slightly, just enough for Jordan to feel he had achieved a small victory.

Veronica lingered at the door. Marcus shot her an angry glance as he passed. She seemed to be reluctant to leave and eventually she moved toward Jordan again and knelt down in front of him, brushing the hair away from his eyes.

"I did everything to keep you,"

"Yeah? What about the others, did you do everything to keep them too?" Jordan's breaths were short as it hurt when he inhaled, "so he's the dad?"

Veronica shrugged, "I don't know who it is,"

Jordan winced as he clutched his chest.

"I wanted it to be you,"

Jordan could have sworn he saw genuine emotion in Veronica's face.

"Why did you have to spoil it Jordan? We could have been happy,"

He shook his head as much as he was able "it's always been her,"

Veronica's face hardened a little at the mention of Angela, "I'm going to live with Marcus from now on, I won't be needing the apartment,"

Jordan shook his head, "he's no good,"

Veronica considered for a moment, "better than being by myself,"

"And the baby?"

Veronica stood, and without responding moved toward the door.

"Veronica?" he tried to raise his voice but it came out strained.

She made a signal to her "friends" and they followed her out of the room.

**I feel bad! Jordan's had it tough in this story! I kinda owe him a happy ending ...**


	20. Chapter 20

Angela tried to pretend she hadn't noticed Will walking toward her desk. She looked down and pretended to type something; in truth she hadn't done any work at all since lunch. As he approached a shiver ran up her spine. There was a time when she actually thought she and Will could have made a good couple. If it hadn't been for her meeting Jordan again she might actually have ended up in a relationship with that creep. Will rested the palms of his hands on her desk and leant down until he was closer to Angela's face than she would have liked. Suddenly his every move seemed suspicious to her; she wondered whether any of the other women in the office had fallen foul of his 'affections'. She could feel his breath on her face as he spoke in hushed tones. "Angela there's a message for you. Come to my office it's more private,"

His face looked sincere but Angela wondered whether it wasn't just a ploy to get her alone.

"It's about Jordan,"

Angela looked doubtful, "leave him out of it," she muttered.

"Out of what?"

Angela hadn't actually meant to say the words out loud, "out of-, of-," she stuttered.

"He's in hospital - it's pretty serious,"

His words echoed around her mind. The thought of Jordan being hurt seemed to push a button than caused her entire body to cease functioning. Will handed her the slip of paper from reception that detailed the call from the hospital.

"Come on I'll take you there,"

She assessed her choices and realised that allowing Will to take her would be the quickest way to get to Jordan.

Will drove a smart car; the smartest car Angela had ever sat in. She felt nervous, almost certain that at any moment he might pull over and she'd be trapped. She thought about how foolish she had been to agree to let him drive her when she knew what he was capable of. She imagined what her mom would say. She found herself looking across at the driver, looking for some outward sign of his indiscretions. He seemed agitated and she occasionally caught him trying to glance across at her.

"So you talked to Debbie?"

Angela was about to answer when she suddenly realised the gravity of the moment.

"Yeah,"

"She told you about me?"

"Yeah she did,"

He nodded to himself.

Angela felt the need to asert herself "we're going to report you," she began "you're going to loose your job, maybe go to jail,"

He nodded again and bit his lip. After a short silence he spoke again "I'm not a monster. I thought she liked me. I thought you liked me,"

"I did. Maybe she did too, but that's no excuse. If she said no, she meant it,"

They came to a halt at some lights and Will took his hands off the wheel to rub his face. He let out a long sigh and let his head fall back against the headrest.

"I just want someone to be with," he turned to look at Angela "you know?"

She nodded; she knew how it felt to be alone.

"I'm alone and I don't know how to deal with it," his head now tipped forward, "I know what I did was wrong. I knew it right away," he looked at her again, "and then with you. Afterwards, when I thought about what I'd said to you and how I treated you, I was so ashamed that I had almost let it happen again,"

The lights changed and they moved off. The remainder of the journey was spent in silence, until they finally pulled up outside the hospital and Angela undid her seatbelt ready to get out. She hesitated, "you should apologise to Debbie,"

Will laughed "she won't listen. I've treated her like shit; threatened her, threatened to take her job and leave her kids with nothing,"

"She just wants you to admit that it happened. I don't know, maybe it would make all the difference,"

She climbed out of the car, "goodbye Will," she shut the door.

Inside the hospital Angela found a nurse and asked to see Jordan. The nurse led her down a long corridor. Patty's words were echoing in Angela's mind, "look after him". She was led to a ward, and to a bed enclosed by curtains. She was pleased to find Jordan awake, if a little drowsy from the pain relief. His arm was in a sling and she could see a nasty cut on his forehead but Angel felt relieved; she had been imagining all sorts of terrible things.

"He's kind of bashed up but he'll be okay,"

Angela smiled, "thanks," and the nurse left in them alone.

Jordan smiled a weary smile as Angela approached the bed. She sat down on the chair next to the bed and took hold of his hand as he slowly lifted it toward her.

"What happened?"

Jordan winced, "Veronica called in a favour from some friends,"

Angela sighed and closed her eyes. Her mother had been right; unpredictable.

"She says she doesn't know who the father is after all,"

"Jordan," Angela caressed his face.

"It's okay, I always knew there was a chance it was just bullshit,"

Angela felt him squeeze her hand and he spoke with a steely determination "Hey, I'm gonna be okay. We're going to be okay,"

She nodded.

"Do you believe me?"

Angela nodded again, but Jordan could still see the look of uncertainty in her eyes. He knew it was an awkward situation for her. He had had some time to think about things while he had been lying in the hospital bed. He thought about the baby and how foolish he had been to latch on so quickly to the idea that Veronica's child had been his. He had lost perspective. He had forgotten how lucky he was to have found Angela again, how slim the chances had been that he would ever see her again let alone be close to her, let alone have his feelings reciprocated. "Hey, what do you think about a coffee shop?"

Angela frowned in puzzlement, "what do you mean?"

"A coffee shop," he repeated, "like, owning one?"

"What? You owning a coffee shop?"

"No, _us_ owning a coffee shop,"

Angela went to laugh but was silenced by Jordan's look of utter seriousness. He indicated to his bag on the floor beside the bed. Angela bent down and unzipped the main pocket taking out the folded papers she found inside. She smiled uncertainly at Jordan but he just smiled in return. Slowly she unfolded the papers and scanned the details describing a small retail space. Last of all she noted the address.

"Pittsburgh?"

"Why not?" Jordan smiled, "we were happy there,"

Angela looked unsure.

"Weren't we?"

"Not all the time,"

Jordan laughed a little but it clearly hurt him.

"Are you serious about this?"

"I've always wanted to be my own boss. I've had to answer to somebody all my life; my dad, the big shots at the hotel. I want the chance to make my own decisions,"

Though his face was badly bruised, Jordan's eyes shone as bright as ever.

Angela's face turned very serious, "well I'm sorry but that's not possible,"

Jordan's face fell, he looked distraught, "you can't face going back?"

She shook her head and tried to fight the smile that was tugging at her lips, "because you have me to answer to now," she broke out into a grin.

Jordan smiled, "nothing wrong with that,"

Angela bent down and kissed him, she kept her face close to his and gently brushed her finger across the bruise that was forming on his cheekbone, "I want to be wherever you are," she smiled and kissed him again, more passionately this time. Jordan held her close to him; Angela happily rested her head against his chest.

Though the hospital was far from quiet, Angela and Jordan could only hear the sound of each other's breathing. The past was forgotten, or at least the issues were settled. For the first time they could look to the future and see only opportunities, and possibilities, and each other.

**The End. **

**Thank you to everyone who has read this story and thank you for the reviews. I hope you've enjoyed reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing it xxx**


End file.
